When I walked the aisle at the age of 8, I didn't really understand what I was saying yes to. I think that I understood as much as most 8 year olds would? I know that a question of some sort was posed, and for me the answer to that question was yes. Did I want a savior? yes. Did I need a savior? yes. If the question had to do with God, my answer was going to be - yes. I didn't understand what it meant to be a follower, but I knew that I wanted to be a part of God and that is really all I knew. When I found myself at the end of the aisle and my pastor prayed with me, the tears began to fall. I couldn't stop them. They poured. I'm not sure our First Baptist Church had ever seen anything like it before. Most people went down the aisle a bit more composed, but I was weeping. And, I have no idea why. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't.
And, I have found through the years as I have walked with my God that this is the norm for me. Confrontation with His Spirit reduces me to a puddle of tears every single time. He never fails to have this effect on me. If a praise song touches me, I cry. If God speaks to my heart through a speaker or a Bible study lesson, the tears slowly fall. But, I am thankful for this. To me it means my heart is softened to Him. And, I like that. I like His power over my emotions. It is one way that He is tangible to me. I feel Him touching my heart, moving me, stirring emotions that only He can stir.
Today I was brought to puddle of teary mess twice. First by a Rob Bell video that I watched with the youth in Sunday School, and second by this Chris Tomlin video that I saw at Deidre's. So, enjoy, and I pray it stirs your soul, too!!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
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12 comments:
Hi Erin,
I'm usually just a lurker here and I visit your blog every day. It always inspires me. Today though I had to come out of "lurkdom" to comment. I too am a crier when God touches my heart! Sometimes I feel like my heart is so hardened, then the Holy Spirit touches me and I'm reduced to a puddle of tears! I don't like to cry and especially in front of other people. After reading your blog today, I thank Him that he deals with me in this way. It keeps me humble I guess.
Thanks so much for your words. I too listened to the Chris Tomlin video. That is such a beautiful version of Amazing Grace...how sweet the sound!
Hope
My Mom is a lot like you Erin - a very soft, tender heart. We used to laugh that she even cried at commercials. I find as I have gotten older, I've gotten a lot more like her. I can't get through most of the old hymns without crying. Praise songs, inspirational stories - I'm with you. I think somehow I knew that about you before you said so. I think it's a special part of the sweet person you are.
Like Hope I am a lurker here...I just had to say that I am much like you when it comes to being touched by the Spirit. I find myself tearful each week when I partake of communion. Our communion service is called the Breaking of Bread and it is separate from the main worship service. A very meaningful time with a smaller number of people all free to share what the Lord has laid on their hearts over the past week. We sing and pray and share and then commune together. Even with my children in the pew beside me, I find it the best part of the week. A time to truely reflect.
~Cheers to your hubby on the rescue of Lightning!
Yay, Erin!! You learned to link. I'm just beginning to figure all this 'blog' stuff out. I'm not very good, but I'm enjoying it. Thanks for linking to me. I absolutely love Chris Tomlin and I love his version of this song. I can't get enough of it.
I'm beginning to think you and I were separated at birth! I have been a blubbering mess this week. I cry over praise songs, a simple bible verse, hearing my precious E. say the simplest thing about Jesus....I'm just a mess.
I'll have to post something soon about E.'s decision to ask Christ into her heart. I've gotten some questions because of her age. We've prayed so much for discernment because she has talked about it for over a year. But, this past Sunday was different. SHE was a blubbering mess. I love her tender heart.
Okay, so the house up the street from me is for sale. Don't you just want to move right in?
This post really brought me up this morning, Erin. It's been a bittersweet, highs and lows, kind of weekend, and my emotions have been running wild. I have spent the past two years really trying to dismantle a very hardened heart, which leaves me crying a lot more than I used to. And you're right, though I never thought of it that way before. If it can be pleasing to God because it means my heart is tender, then that is a good thing. Thank you.
I love that you said you think ease in crying indicates a softened heart. I so hope. I'm quick to cry, esp in church. xoxoxo
Thanks for saying that about E.'s decision. I don't know why people put an age requirement on it. She doesn't think like a 5 year old anyway. I do believe she 'gets it'.
Since I don't have your e-mail address, I'm going to tell you here how to link to a specific post. Then, you can delete this comment if you want.
Click on the header of the specific post you are wanting to link to (like 'Amazing Grace' header on mine). Then, in you address line up top, you will see it change to the address of the specific post. Highlight that address, then right click on it and 'copy'. Then go to your post you are creating, in the link box, right click and 'paste' INSTEAD of just adding a blog address. It should link to the specific post. I hope this helps. Let me know if I can help you anymore.
Another lurker here. You have such an incredible gift of words. I'm sure I'm not the first to tell you that. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and stories.
I cried all the way down the aisle of First Baptist Church, Columbus, GA--at age 12. I sobbed.
I am curious which Rob Bell video it was.... I love those Nooma videos!
Beautiful. But I think my hubby wishes my heart was no so soft, =) Thank you for this post.
And I thought I was the only one to cry at any and every thing. Thanks for this.
Just surfing through from Big Mama's blogroll...I really like your blog!
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