Random Order ~ Emery's Birth

Meet Our Sweet Emery Girl...

Emery Elaine Dukes

Born on March 19, 2012

at 7:27 a.m.

7 pounds, 4 ounces

19 inches

The Daily Bread

I am sitting here at the table, steam coming off coffee cup, red-tinged sky reflecting on the pond, and the sound of laughter from upstairs can be heard throughout the house.  Peace.  Here in my home among my five, busy, active boys.  Even here there is peace.

Prince of peace, You are welcome here!  Tread our concrete floors and fill our rooms from corner to corner.

I have been such an ingrate lately.  There is no other way to say it. Someone commented to me on how close in age my children are ~ I will soon have six children and my oldest just recently turned nine.  And, when I thought about it, I was even a bit stunned myself.  But, usually I don't even think about it.  I take God's sweet gifts as they come, when they come, and I don't count the years.  But, lately I have been overwhelmed with school and home renovation and baby coming and noise and chaos.  I have spent much of my days not counting gifts, but rather counting the reasons why my cup is too full, too much for me to handle.

But, then comes Perspective, and He meets me where I am.  And, He reminds me that He gave the gifts in His perfect timing.  He holds my world in His sweet hands.  But, mostly He reminds me that for me and Him it is all about one thing...

Trust.

Do I trust Him?

Do I trust that He loves me?  That He has saved me?  That He has my little world in His grip?

Yes, but there is more...

Do I trust that daily as I rise and am overwhelmed, that even then, He can take my offering of myself and make it enough?

Do I trust that He can handle today?

Do I trust that He can teach and train these little hearts and souls through me, today, this morning?

I worry, oh how I worry!  The future how it intimidates and taunts me!  How will the boys end up?  Will they choose Him?  Will they be wise, compassionate, smart, full of integrity and confidence?

Oh, how I try to take the whole of tomorrow into my grasp today.  It is impossible, the weight of it crushes me.  I cannot bear it.

But, I can open my palms to Him today and receive...

When I look up from my computer screen past my sweet steaming cup of peace, I see it.  My daily reminder, hand stitched by my great grandmother...

He doesn't give me the future on a platter.

He doesn't quiet my anxious heart by assuring me that all will be well, that all my children will choose to live purely, wisely, and purposefully.  He doesn't give me that reassurance...

Instead He asks me to...

Trust.

Him.

Daily.

The only assurance I have is that He is here with me today, and He will give me all I need for this day, this moment.  And, because in His vast wisdom, He feels that this is all I need, then I can trust that it is more than enough.  That this portion will sustain.

And, what if I don't get all of Joshua's literature read to him by Friday?  And, what if the new math concept isn't clicking as fast as I think it should?  And, I haven't had time to prepare for my Friday classes? And, the laundry room is overflowing?  And, the floors are covered in crumbs, mud clods, and dead grass.  And, what if the sink is full of dirty dishes, the dishwasher full of clean, and the to do list overwhelms....

I can trust.

And, if I truly trust, I will relinquish my desire to be the one in control, the one who says what must be accomplished each day.  What if I truly trusted that He would allow me time enough, energy enough, strength enough to do all that I need to do today.  And, what if I trusted that it was enough ~ even if we have to go to bed with dirty floors, an unkempt laundry room, and boxes left unchecked on my never ending list.

Trust leaves no room for perfectionism.  Perfectionism's focus is on me, my abilities, my accomplishments.  But, trust's focus is on the Him, the Giver of my Daily Bread, the One Who daily fills my cup.  Has my cup ever ceased to overflow?  Have I ever been left wanting?  Has He ever left me empty?  Haven't I always found Him to be far more than enough?  to be more than faithful?  more than worthy of my trust?

The daily bread is allotted, and it is the perfect portion for this day.  

And, when the new baby comes, and I have to stop teaching to nurse, and when I am tired from being up all night with infant gift, when I rise and look out at pond with red-tinged water reflecting dawn of new day, when my strength is gone, and my eyes are blurry with tears, I can open my palms wide in acceptance.  And, I can trust and know that my hands will be filled, some days to overflowing, some days to smaller portions, but always I can trust that He will allot the perfect portion for that day.  And, that is all I know.  It is all I need to know.  It is more than enough.

Not the future on a platter served by clean, well-groomed hands.

No.

The daily bread.

Handed down from blood stained, nail-scared hands...

to my eager, waiting, open palms.

Life Lately...

We have been super busy lately with plain old regular life.  Sooo much is going on here!!  From our renovation...

To a new baby coming very soon...

And, then there are all the ordinary everyday things that are always going on like school...

JCT loves to help me teach Elijah!

Here are a few pictures I have taken lately that are just random.  They just make me smile....

Sunday morning scribbles...

Sunday afternoon naps...

Sweet boys who call me "Lady Mother" and bring me flowers...

 Or, weeds, but they think that they are flowers!!!  And, I think it is so sweet.

The other day I was doing school with the big boys, and in the other room I could hear Elijah and Eriky laughing uncontrollably!!!!!  They were taking turns tickling each other!! :-)

James in a mask he made...

Our life is FULL!!!! It is hard to imagine that it is about to get even more FULL!!!  Oh, how we overflow!

Prayers Please

Please pray for some sweet friends of ours from Excelsior who lost their 21 month old son, Mobley, tragically yesterday afternoon in an accidental drowning.  Their names are Matt and Meagan.  Matt was out of the country on business and is presently making his way back.  He will get in late this evening.  The whole situation is so difficult and tragic that I really don't have words.  I just ask that any of you who happen upon this post will lift up my sweet friends.  Meagan is the sweetest and kindest and most loving of mothers.  She has a huge heart and was one of the first things I loved about being a part of Excelsior.  Also, please pray for their other three children ~ Miles who is 9, Kayla who is 6, and Maggie who is 4.  Thank you so much.

Bits of Pink...

Sweet Emery,

 There is a corner of my bedroom that has a small, but growing, stack of pink things.  And, when I sit in my peace chair and feed baby Jack, I glance at my little pink mountain and smile.  I guess because they are the only times all day that I actually sit still, it seems I always feel you move and kick when I'm feeding Jack, and I can't help dreaming about you.  Sometimes I dream about you and Jack.  I know the two of you will be close ~ it is my prayer.  "Jack & Emery" I think we'll hear that a lot.  I wonder if you will be born before his first birthday or after?

Your big brothers ask lots of questions about you.  I think they are getting excited about having a sister.  At a basketball game a few weeks ago, there was a little pigtailed 2 year old dancing and drawing attention to herself.  Joshua caught me completely off guard by turning his head, looking right at me, motioning toward the cute little girl, and simply saying, "Emery..."  It was like he was saying, "We are going to have one of those!"  You have sweet big brothers that will love you to pieces!!!

James Christofer writes about you in his journal every now and then.  He has wanted a sister for a while now.  Here is a journal entry of his from this past December shortly after we found out you were a girl...

I love you, sweet one.  I don't voice it out loud, but with nearly every strong kick I feel, I tell you I love you, and I thank God for giving you to us! The other day I was looking through your Daddy's computer bag when I found the note I gave him to tell him we were pregnant with you.  I had taken the pregnancy test the evening before but kept quiet.  The next morning as he was sipping coffee and doing charts, I slipped him this little note...

When he opened it up, he read this...

At the time your brother Jack was only 4 months old, so this was quite a surprise!  But, your Daddy did smile, and he immediately looked at me and said, "This was meant to be."

You were meant to be sweet one!  And, we are so excited to meet you!  It won't be long now.  I am 33 weeks, and it seems each passing week moves faster than the one before!  I love being pregnant, but I want to hold you more!  Godspeed, sweetness!!!!

James R' Us

Joshua and James were busy doing their morning work when James spotted me.  I was making price tags and placing them on toys.  "Oh, Mom!  Is that for my math lesson?"  I had to tell him that it was not.  It was for Lije.  But, I used this same curriculum with James, and he remembered...

"Oh, Mom!  I used to love that!  I used to love it when we played store!  Can I do it with him?  Can I be the cashier??  Please!"

So, what was supposed to be just a short little math lesson became a good hour long play/math time for brothers!  James named his store James R' Us, and it started out simply like this...

But, after a while I swear JCT had price tags on half the toys in the house!  He loved using his cash register and checking his brother out over and over.  Elijah kept buying things for Eriky!  So, he would buy a toy, and then run into the next room and say, "Eriky, look what I bought for you!"  And, Eriky would eagerly receive the toy!

Fun, fun!

Love Day 2012

Oh, happy day!

Valentines Day is one of my favorite holidays to celebrate with the boys!!  We had a fun day full of love and little heart-shaped surprises!!  They woke up to a table set like this....

For breakfast they had strawberry milk...

Strawberry yogurt...

And, cinnamon rolls with pink icing! :-)  And, there was a special valentine happy from Mommy beside each little man's plate!

I love Valentines Day!!!!!

Instead of writing in their journals this morning, I had the boys write valentines to each other.  I thought this one from JCT to our sweet Emery girl was precious!!!!  I am going to stick it in her baby book!

For lunch I cut heart shapes out of some leftover pizza, and the boys loved it!

We made these fun pretzel sticks for our neighbors and friends and the men working on our gym!

And, this little man...

His heart still belongs to his mama!!!!! :-)  I could eat him up!!

Erik surprised me with this yummy treat...

The boys had so much fun at our local homeschool group's Valentine party.  All the kids brought boxes that they made at home and valentines to share.  They played lots of basketball, ate pizza, and made valentine crafts. Fun, fun, fun!!!

And a sweet Valentine happy came in the mail from Nana and Poppy...

Happy, happy day!

Belize

Erik playing basketball with boys from the boys' home while on a medical mission trip in Belize...

Romans, Recitations, and the Dawn of a New Day!

When Mrs. Penny assigned the boys history recitation for January, I was tempted to email her and say, "No, thank you."  She assigned Romans 1: 18-23, 25 in the New King James Version.  Talk about a difficult passage!  And, my first thought was that Joshua would not even understand the passage, so why make him memorize it.  Our co-op believes that even though the kids have teachers on Fridays, you as the parent are the ultimate teacher, so we have the say so of what assignments we desire to do or not do.  So far, we have done everything assigned, but I love that we have the freedom to say no if we would like.

The first few days of January as we began memorizing Romans I was shocked at how much longer it was taking Joshua to memorize!  In Bible at the same time he was memorizing Mary's song, and it flowed easily from his lips, but not Romans.  I explained over and over again the meaning of each verse, but it didn't seem to help.  It was a slow go.  I almost gave up, but we kept chipping away at it a little each day. And, at the same time we spent several hours each day reading Greek myths (insert gag!) and Greek history.  And, by the third week in January one afternoon something clicked and everything changed...

It was one of those moments where you are overwhelmed by His presence and His wisdom and His giving of a perfect teachable moment...

Joshua and I were alone in the kitchen working on Romans.  We had recently finished up our reading of the Greek Myths and had just begun Homer (which really is just more of the same ~ insert second gag!).  And, it hit me like a ton of bricks ~ the light in my little mind came on!  Suddenly I understood why Penny chose this passage in Romans for the children to memorize!  It all came together and made sense, and I couldn't wait to share it with Joshua!  So, I said...

"Joshua, do you get it?  Don't you see?  Who did Paul write Romans to?  The Romans!  And, who did the Romans worship???  Many of them worshipped the same god's as the Greeks ~ just changing their names a bit.  We've studied that!  Now think about it!  Paul is talking to people who live in the city of that day and time ~ somewhat like Athens ~ with all the philosophers and "smart" people who thought they had everything all figured out, right?  'Professing to be wise, they became fools...'  This is what Paul is talking about here.  Think about all the Greek myths we have read, all the crazy gods and goddesses.  Did they act like our God?  Did they behave like Christ?  No!  They were angry, vengeful, jealous, covetous, unfaithful, deceitful, you name it!  So, what did the Greeks do?  They 'changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man!'  Think about it Joshua!  Think about the statue of Athena in the Parthenon in Athens.  Think of Zeus!  Their gods are just glorified incorruptible men just like Paul talks about in your recitation!  They 'exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator!'"

Then we took a moment and read through the entire passage in light of all we had studied over the past month in Greek history, and for once the entire passage took on a new significance!  We took on the cultural baggage of that time in history because we were knee deep in historical facts from around the same period of time, and it made all the difference.  We were both excited, and the passage with new meaning, seemed to come so much easier now!  It was one of those moments where I love what I do even if it is sooo hard some days!

As I shared all this with Erik that evening, I was reminded of something one of the mothers told me earlier that year.  At the beginning of the school year, we had a parent get together where our history guru at Excelsior took us through all that our kids would be learning in history this year, step by step.  We sat and listened for several hours as Shelley walked us from creation through the fall of Rome.  During one of our breaks, I stood in the kitchen talking to Misty, another mom who has high school age kids and has taught her children through the four year cycle of history two full times already.  She said something beautiful that I will never forget, something that has come back to me over and over and over during the past few months.  She said....

"Erin, the first time I studied Antiquity with the kids I hated it!  I remember wanting to take the books and throw them on the floor and stomp on them.  I wanted to quit reading them, to put them away!  They are so dark.  I kept thinking, 'Why am I reading this to them?' But, Erin, in the middle of the dark night when you think you can't take it anymore, the Roman empire comes...

and Christ is the dawn of a new day...

I saw it like never before the first time I studied ancient times with the kids!  How dark the world was, and then here comes Christ!  And, you see how He changes history!  It is truly beautiful to experience Christ this way!  It almost makes it worth all the dark things you have to study to get there!!"

I ran to my seat that day, and before the next set of lectures began I wrote Misty's words in my notes!  I thought she put it so eloquently, and I couldn't wait to understand what she meant!  And, now here I am  studying the darkness of foolish men, and my heart is longing for Christ's light to shine into history!

Christ is the center ~ the dawn of a new day!!