In Jesus' Arms. . .

It is through tear-filled eyes that I am attempting to put this post together.

My sweet husband was three hours from the hospital when he received the call that Jesus had called his precious mother home.

Thanks so much to those who prayed.

But, you know what I know without a doubt?

I know that she knows.

She knows her big boy loves her because he told her over and over and over and over while she was with him. He loved her well, and I have been blessed to have witnessed that love in action as he cared for her each weekend over the past few months.

I'll never forget watching him walk into her hospital room and take command. He'd open the blinds. Talk to her sweetly. Do his little physical therapy routine on her while I constantly assured her that he loved her so much and that is why he was working her so hard! He'd ask her 100s of questions to check her memory. Watching him look her over with a doctor's eye. Watching him spoon feed her and clean her up. Yes, he loved her well.

Her children arose and called her blessed. She couldn't have asked for more.

I think the thing that makes me the most sad is when I think about how little of her my sons will know. Joshua will remember the most, but even he has a mere 6 years worth of memories. It just makes me that much more determined to keep her memory alive.

Who was she, you ask?

Oh, do let me tell you a bit about her. . .

We are blessed to have walked with her. Her heart was pure and selfless. Her hands were those of a servant. I have met few like her on my journey thus far. A humble, beautiful soul.

She loved me for who I am. She never thought I, or anyone else for that matter, needed to be anything or anyone other than exactly who they are. She loved with every fiber of her being. She gave the most amazing love pats. She could pat legs like she could beat eggs ~ with amazing wrist power! She was something special. Brutally honest. Always saying exactly what she thought. She told my parents the first time ever she met them that "Jimmy and I are praying Erik marries your daughter." Erik and I had known each other only a few months, and my parents were flattered but a bit surprised! The best was when she told Brother (Sean) that he looked like George Castanza! She was a great lady. But, the most remarkable thing about her was the way she believed in those she loved. For instance. . .

She thought I could do no wrong ~ even though my inadequacies were ever present and unfortunately quite obvious.

She thought I was a wonderful mother ~ even when she witnessed me losing my temper with her beloved grandsons.

She thought I was a great cook ~ even when I made a complete mess of dinner.

She thought I was a precious wife ~ even when she watched her son carry most of the weight.

She thought I was a wonderful housekeeper ~ even when there were cobwebs in every corner of my house and crumbs all over my floors.

She thought I was tiny ~ even when I was 9 months pregnant with my fourth son.

She thought I was a great writer ~ even when I couldn't put two thoughts together to save my life.

She thought I was organized ~ even when my counter tops had clutter piled to ceilings.

She thought I was beautiful ~ even when I first got up in the morning with dark circles under my eyes and no make-up on my face.

She thought I was a wonderful hostess ~ even when I didn't have time to make sweet tea or change the sheets on the guest bed before she arrived.

She thought I could do ANYTHING that I wanted to do ~ even though I am extremely fearful and consumed with self-doubt.

She believed in me.

She always and only built me up. I could have asked for no more in a mother-in-love. Her faith was simple and sweet. I will miss her something fierce.

I talked to my husband a while ago, and he was in her room saying goodbye. His voice was pure peace, and I can't tell you how it soothed my soul to hear it. He said, "Well, Baby, she is pretty. She is pale, and she is pretty, but she is not here. She is lifeless. Her spirit is gone. She is in Jesus' arms now." Peace. That is the kind of peace that only comes from One Source and One Source alone.

Erik called around bedtime to tell the big boys. I had one on each side of me holding them in my arms. I put the phone on speaker, and Erik began to explain to the boys what happened to their sweet Grandma. The conversation went something like this, "Boys, you know how we are spirit, and we relate to God through our spirit. You know, how we talk about that we are Spiritual beings? Well, Grandma's Spirit went to be with Jesus today. And, now she is well. Jesus gave her a brand new body, and she can walk and talk and do all the things she used to be able to do. And, her new body is even better than her old one!"

Joshua was grinning from ear to ear. He even let out an "Awesome!" as he listened to his Dad talk about Grandma's new body. But, it wasn't until a little later in the conversation when JCT very astutely asked, "So, are you saying Grandma died?" When Erik said yes, Joshua picked up the front of his t-shirt and pulled it up over his face and my big boy's little dam broke. He finally understood that he wouldn't see his Grandma again on this earth.

But, praise God, he will see her again one day!

After the conversation with Erik, I sat on the couch and held my little man as he cried and cried. I couldn't help being so thankful. So thankful that he loved her so much. So thankful that he had such a precious Grandma to love for the first 6 years of his life. May he always remember what a precious and loving lady she was.

Please continue to pray for our family.