Sweet Roan

I met her for the first time when Joshua was 3 and JCT was one, and I was interested in homeschooling. Two years and two children later, I got nervous about my abilities and signed Joshua up for school. And, he began public school Kindergarten. Two years and a great deal of indecision later, I called her once again for counsel when we decided to try homeschooling.



And, so I went to her house and spent the afternoon. Her home is off the road a bit, nestled in the woods. The dogwoods were in full bloom. Roan met me at the door with one of her daughters ~ both wore big smiles. Her home felt clean and fresh and open with light colored wood flooring and huge windows filling most of the walls. She offered me coffee, and I politely declined. To which she responded, "Come on, I need a cup of coffee. Have one with me!" I agreed because I wanted a cup all along!! :-) And, I could hardly contain my excitement when she pulled out not one, not two, but three different choices of flavored creamer!!! My kind of girl!!! :-)


She taught me a ton that afternoon. A lot of what she taught me I wrote down in a notebook ~ websites, curriculum choices, ideas to make learning fun, things to keep little ones occupied, etc. But, do you know what I remember most about my time with her? Not what she taught me intentionally, but rather what she taught me unintentionally. I'll give you two examples. . .


#1 Roan and I sat in her very cool schoolroom and discussed all aspects of homeschooling. And, as we talked children were wandering in and out of the room. At one point Sam, her youngest, came to her with a very unusual request. I don't remember exactly what it was that he wanted to do, but I do remember that it was out there! Something like putting the toy box in the pool and using it as a boat. (That wasn't his request. I'm just using it as an example because I am having some minor memory loss at the moment! :-)) Roan didn't miss a beat! With eyes wide she looked directly at him and said, "Wow! That is a good idea!!! How creative! But, I don't think that will work because there are holes in the toy box, and it probably wouldn't float. And, besides it would probably ruin your toy box and then where would you put your toys? But, that is a really fun idea!!" I loved how she encouraged him to think instead of simply writing off his idea as silly. She listened and helped him think through his idea all the way. He left smiling, laughing a little, and agreeing with her logic. I loved it.


#2 Later Leah came into the schoolroom and looked around. After a few minutes, she asked if she could paint. I was curious what her mama would say. After all, she was entertaining me. She had every reason to tell Leah no or, at the very least, not right now. But, Roan didn't even hesitate. She got up from the table we were sitting at and continued our conversation as she set her sweet little daughter up at an easel with paint and paper. And, Leah painted a little masterpiece while we talked and sipped our coffee. And, once again, I loved it.


Today Roan wrote a post that I had to link to because it inspired me to be a "yes" mom. And, I can testify that she is one who practices what she preaches!


There was a freedom and a peace in her home. I left feeling refreshed and inspired. And, as I drove home, I prayed that others would feel this same way when they left my home. I love the song Invade by Watermark. It has long been the prayer that I pray over my home in the morning. "Jesus come and walk the halls of this house." I can honestly say that I felt His sweet presence in her home.


No amount of decorating or decluttering can compare to a home filled to overflowing with the love of Jesus. His peace, joy, beauty, and freedom can make any house an inviting and rejuvenating place to be!!

The Ramblings of a Tired Mama. . .

I feel a bit like rambling today which is actually the way that I feel everyday. Only today I actually have time to sit down and write my rambling thoughts as they come. . .

We are beginning to get into some sort of normal flow around here. I am feeling somewhat productive once again, and this life is beginning to once again feel like my life. It takes me several months after having a baby to get back into a good groove again. And, I love it when I finally get here because I appreciate "normal" life so much more!

We are getting out and going places again! This morning for the 3rd time I took my 3 youngest to Super Wal-mart for our big weekly grocery shopping trip (Which I cannot, between dog food, diapers, my favorite organic brands, Erik's 15 different kinds of cereal, etc., get out of that store for under $150. It just never happens, and I hate that!!!) Anyway, I have figured out that the best way to do it is to put Erik Daniel in the Bjorn, Elijah in the front of the cart, and to let JCT walk. We are a fun little bundle of merriment, I assure you! Most people smile at us and say, "How sweet!" Some people stop me and tell me that I remind them of themselves when their children were young. And, a small few give me an annoyed look when JCT accidentally gets in their way. And, when they do, I say a prayer and ask God to never let me forget how precious little ones are ~ even long after mine are grown.

And, there is this lady who works one of the registers up front that checks me out a lot. She had four boys, too, but hers are all in college now. And, she is beautiful to me. Not the kind of beautiful that is flashy or made up. She is the kind of beautiful that I aspire to be. She is natural but well kept, and she exudes a peaceful spirit. I don't even know her name, but I love her, and I will wait in line to get to chit chat with her while she checks out my groceries. The first time she checked me out the boys were fussy, and she understood, and she has occupied a special place in my heart since that day. . .

Anyway, we got home, and I was overwhelmed with all that there was to do in a short little bit of time ~ put groceries away (at least the cold ones), feed too hungry boys lunch ~ nurse another, and get boys down for naps before it is time to pick up Joshua at school, start a load of gentles, take out a patient dog & feed him, feed my own growling tummy, and on and on. . .

It is all about prioritizing and multi-tasking ~ they are the keys to my life right now.

Who needs what most.

So, I put Elijah in the high chair with applesauce and a spoon, then I put away the groceries. Then, I finished feeding Elijah and fed JCT. Then, I cleaned up Elijah and put him down to play while I nursed my sweet, ever patient baby. And, as I nursed him and my head spun with things that needed to be done before I could sit down and relax for a moment, I heard the voice of Elisabeth Elliot saying. . . "Just do the next thing, and when you finish that, then do the next thing." Goodness, I love her! And, I let myself relax for a moment and soak up some sweet baby time. Erik Daniel fell into a deep sleep as he nursed. All was peaceful and still until Elijah came bounding in the room with a huge grin and voice that shook the windows ~ not to mention the foul odor coming from his diaper ~ it alone could have awakened the dead! And, yes, Erik Daniel's peaceful slumber was disturbed! Ohhh, such is life. . .

Now two out of three are asleep, and JCT is water painting at the bar. Erik won't be home until late tonight, and my back already hurts. But, hey, Deana B is bringing me soup for dinner, and I am pumped about that! Thank You, God, for thoughtful friends, not to mention ones that can cook really well!!

I am so content with life right now. I love having little ones. The things that used to be struggles for me ~ the fact that they want to be where I am every second, the fact that they get up so early that I can't have alone time in the morning, the fact that I rarely get to sit still at nap time, the fact that I can't get out and go and do like I want to ~ they just don't bother me much anymore. If I have learned anything this year with Joshua in Kindergarten, it is that time flies, and what my mama used to always tell me is true. These days are only for a period of time, and then they are gone. forever. I'll never be a mom to little boys again once they grow up. And, they are growing. No matter how many times I beg them to quit and threaten to put bricks on their heads and such, they are growing at the speed of life, and there is not a thing I can do about it. So, now when they want me to sit down and watch TV with them, when they want to sit in my lap, or they want me to hold them, I am all over it! Joshua wants me to eat lunch with him at school, and I call a sitter ~ because my sitting with him at the lunch table will not always be the highlight of his day! But, it is now, and I am soaking it up!

Life is good. It is at times fast and furious. But, I am learning to love the chaos, and I feel certain that I will miss it when it is gone. The other night I was talking to my sweet mama, and as I was telling her about a few projects and things I have going on around the house, etc., she sighed and said, "You know, I told your Dad the other day that I miss home-making." And, I heard a little longing in her voice, and I felt it in my heart because we were made from the same mold ~ she and I. And, I, too, I am quite certain will miss loving, doting on, taking care of, spoiling, singing to, cooking for, baking for, and doing projects with my little ones. I am living it to the full, you all, because if one thing is for certain, it will not last forever. Good, bad, hard, easy, chaotic, peaceful, joyful, happy, crazy, wild, busy, fun, it will not last forever! Seize the day!!

The Sleep Study

Sammy asked me to write about how I get my babies to sleep the night. And, I think it is great that she asked me because I am usually the one polling my friends for advice on everything under the sun. I am a perpetual student, always ready to learn a new tid bit of knowledge that might become useful to me at any time in the next 100 years. I ask questions like there is no tomorrow. So, to be asked a question was kind of an honor to me!

Only, I don't know that I have any great advice to give you, sweet mama, Sammy. I gathered lots of information on this topic before my Joshua was born. I read Babywise and Dr. Sears in order to get both perspectives. I felt that I was somewhere in between the two theories. I didn't want to do the "family bed" thing. And, though I love, love, love routine and schedules, I wasn't up to following babywise to the "t." And, so before I had formulated a plan, he came ~ 2 weeks early ~ perfect and wonderful ~ he came. And, I didn't really follow any particular plan. Three babies later, I am still playing it by ear. If I had to recommend a book that I like, because I am a perpetual student and I love to read nonfiction books, I would recommend Dr. Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby.

Anyway, this is what I do from start to finish summed up in however long it takes me to describe it. . .

But, I do have a disclaimer. . . I have never had a baby with colic or reflux or anything like that, so this will probably not help if your baby struggles with tummy issues.

In the hospital I sleep with my babes on my chest. I just think they need to feel my heartbeat! Their little world has been rocked. All that they know has been taken from them. And, the only things familiar to them are the voices of those closest to them and the sound of my heartbeat and the rhythm of my breathing, etc. Besides I want them to be warm and comfortable and feel super loved as they are adjusting to this new phase of life ~ outside the womb!

When we get home, they sleep in a pack and play beside my bed. And, I pretty much let them determine their schedule. I feed them every 2-3 hours during the day. This is one of the few things in life that I am very layed back and relaxed about. I don't watch the clock very closely. If my baby acts hungry after only an hour and a half, then I am going to feed him! And, I rarely wake a sleeping baby unless it cannot be avoided!

At night, the way I do things is pretty routine. I nurse them in bed. So, when I hear the little one begin to stir, I go ahead and get him (I don't want to let the baby cry and wake up Erik). Then, I put the little one in our bed, nurse him, usually he falls asleep, then I slip him back into the pack and play. And, I go back to sleep. Some of my babies stayed asleep when I layed them down, some liked for me to rock them for 5-10 minutes before I lay them down. By 3-4 months I usually don't need to rock anymore, they just go back to sleep on their own. They've learned the routine. And, if they haven't, if they continually wake up and cry when I put them back in the pack and play after feeding them, then I let them cry a bit. Sometimes they just need to work it out on their own, and then they will fall into a peaceful sleep.

With each child, I ask God to give me wisdom to know how to care for this individual child best ~ when to rock them and when to let them cry and for how long. And, you know what? He always pricks my heart and lets me know. I can't explain it, but He always lets me know just what to do.

Eventually all my guys do the same thing. . . First they wake up twice at night ~ once between 12 & 2, and then again one more time between 4 & 6. Then, a few months later they drop one of those feedings and wake up once between 3 & 4. And, eventually they drop that feeding. As long as they go back to sleep easily after I feed them, I don't care how long they draw out the nighttime feedings. Usually it is around 8 to 9 months for us. But, Joshua was done with nighttime feedings by 2 months. So, like I said, each child is different.

As far as nap time/daytime routines go, again I just go with the flow. I let them kind of do their own thing. If they act even halfway sleepy, I put them down. By four months, where I am now with Erik Daniel, he has fallen into a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and an evening nap routine. All my kids have done the same thing. Then, eventually the evening nap goes. And, at around 13-15 months the morning nap goes. But, I let their need for sleep determine when I drop the evening and morning naps. Every child is unique and has unique needs. And, that is why all of this may be of no help to you, Sammy. You have to do what is best for your little man and for you. Every situation is unique.

Babies/kids love routine and if you let them and guide them gently, they will fall into a routine perfect for both of you.

Routines and schedules are awesome, but if you try to be rigid or forceful, well, you will probably end up feeling like you are beating your head up against a wall. Because if there is one thing I have learned in my 5 1/2 years of motherhood, it is that kids are not textbook material. There is no magic formula that works for every child. And, you will never rely on God more than you will as a mother. Period. He is the only one with the answers we need as mothers. No other mother or book or friend or grandparent can tell you how to correctly rear your child. That is between you, your husband, and God. It is a journey, an adventure, that will lead us straight to God's heart if we choose to seek His face as we parent. Because, after all, He is the ultimate parent! And, He created your little one, so He knows his inner workings, and He loves you both very much!

You learn a lot about their little personalities as you wade through these sleepy waters. Some babes have great inner strength, and they want what they want when they want it! And, some babes are more layed back, compliant, bending and going with the flow. . .

But, if I could say one thing to you, it would be ~ enjoy. Whatever issues you and your little one face ~ enjoy him. Never again will you have one baby to dote on and get silly over. I long for moments alone with Erik Daniel, moments to hold him and talk softly to him. Those moments are few and far between when there are older siblings. Your baby will fall into a routine. He will mature and grow, and he will eventually sleep all night. So, enjoy the baby days. They go by so fast, and they are so sweet!!!!!! Rub his little fuzzy head, kiss his chubby cheeks, listen quietly to his precious coos and giggles, hold his tiny little feet in the palm of your hand, and tickle his cute little belly!! Babies are the best fun ever!!!!

Best of luck to you and your sweet one!