A mother with all sons
will be surrounded
by handsome men
the rest of her life.
Why is it that we little-boy mama's dream of the day that we will sit on the pew of our church with suited, handsome young men on each side of us? Or, sometimes I dream of the day that I will be cooking dinner in the kitchen and one of my sons will walk up to me and put his big strong arms around me and envelope me somewhat like my arms now envelope him. One day I will be the frail, weak one, and they will be the strong, protective ones. Funny to think about. . .
Protection. I remember that word coming to mind a lot as I held JCT when he was an infant. There is one particular picture of the two of us that when I put it in his baby scrapbook, I put the word "protect" in sticker letters down the side of the picture. I remember thinking at the time that I was protecting him like all good mama bears do, but that one day he would be protecting me.
From the moment I become aware that there is a baby growing inside my womb, I am ready to protect it. If a ball is coming right at me, rather than put my hands over my head like I would have before pregnancy, now my arms go straight to my belly to protect a life that is more precious to me than my own. Protect. It is what we as mama's want to do. It simply comes natural. But, something shifts over time. And, slowly we have to let go. We have to let them fall a bit. We have to sit back and let them fight their own battles. Then, one day the tide will shift completely to the place where they will be the strong and capable ones protecting us, taking care of us. Recently, I have seen this firsthand as I have watched my Daddy oversee the care of his mother who is mentally and physically unable to care for herself.
I love the thought that these little boys of mine will one day be grown men. It gives me chills. I'll blink and they will have acne, squeaky voices, and stubble on their chins. Then, I'll blink again and they will be husbands and fathers, full of wisdom and strength, courage and dignity. (That is what I pray for anyway!)
I think that is why I love the line from the "I love you up to the moon" song that says, "One day when you are older and taller than me, I'll say I watched you grow like a beautiful tree." Kim Hill wrote this song for her sons, and I had the privilege of hearing her sing it in concert months before I got pregnant with my oldest son. I wanted so badly to be pregnant at the time, and I vowed that if God gave me a son I would sing that song to him. So, when Joshua was a baby, I memorized it, and I have sung it to all three of my little men over and over. And, it doesn't matter how many millions of times that I sing that song, I still get choked up every other time or so.
At lunch today, JCT turned his chocolate milk cup over, and I thought it to be an accident. Because, seriously, why on earth would anyone do that on purpose. But, a few minutes later I walked across the room and watched as he reached for his brother's chocolate milk cup and turned it over, as well.
Why?
Why do little boys do the things they do? I will never understand them, but thank God, I love them! Little boys are an interesting breed, but they really are quite irreplaceably wonderful. So, for now I will protect my baby boys, laugh at my little boys, and, hopefully, one day sit back and admire my big boys!
14 comments:
Yay! Another mom of all boys. I have three boys, and three younger brothers. God knows what He's doing, right? He prepared me for boys when I was little. I love my boys, just like you do. I don't understand when people say, "Wow, you have your hands full! Don't you want to try again for that girl?" I love whatever God gives me.
Thank you!!! This ministered to my heart i so many ways.
Yes, you will blink and they will be young men. And there comes a day when you can't protect them every waking minute. I have had to learn this over the last six months, as my son got his license in July. I simply have to let him go, with my prayers hanging over him, driving away to do what teenage boys do. And the curfew? Oh my, watching a clock has taken on a whole new meaning....
I so enjoy your posts about your precious boys.
Erin, I have just read through your entire blog from start to finish and am truly inspired. I'm only twenty so I've not yet been blessed with children but I hope when I do, I do as good a job as you appear to be doing!
Though I've always been a Christian, I've read a lot of blogs lately, similar to yours where the author is a Christian mother. It has, without a doubt, made me feel incredibly inadequete in my faith and Christianity. I don't come from a religious family but have prayed and worshipped in my own way since I was six. I have no idea where this comes from but without religious parents to guide me, I was sort of making it up as I went along. I want to have the same resounding faith that you have, I want to be able to recite pieces of scripture and I want to live a far more Godly life.
Thank you for your blog, it was an inspiration and I will continue reading!
Kellie
Australia
As a mama to boys this beautiful post really resonated with me. I love my boys fiercely -- I don't always understand them but they bring me such delight. I pray that in the days to come they will be Godly and strong men -- a testimony to God's power and holiness in their lives.
What a beautiful post! It really touches my heart. I have a son and daughter! Boys are so special in so many ways! I know my son has opened up a whole new world of experiences for me! I am very protective of my children, from the moment I know of their conception as well. I'm a big mama bear too! And I pray all the time for the Lord to help me let go where needed and let Him make me worthy of this special job He's blessed me with!
Erin,
I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to leave Kellie from Australia a comment, but her Blog isn't open! I pray she will come back to this comment section!
Kellie-
The fact that your heart is open and tender to the Lord, says a world about you! It doesn't matter what or where we've come from, because none of that makes us more worthy of our Heavenly Father's love! He is constantly drawing us to Himself, because He loves us reguardless, and has a special unique purpose for each one of us! (Isn't that EXCITING!) You already have an amazing testimony! My husband and I are always saying how blessed we've been to grow up in christian homes. We remind ourselves not to take it for granted, because we think it's amazing in this day and age, with all the "world" tries to fill our heads with that anyone comes to find christianity and love the Lord if they were not "raised" in it! Praise God you did! We are not here in the blog world to sing our own praises of self rightiousness! We are here to share the journey together...to laugh, cry, and pray for one another, and encourage and uplift one another! I'm so glad you found Erin! I don't know her personally, but I love her blog as well! There are alot of us here (friends and sisters in Christ) that welcome you with open arms!
In His Love- Tiffany
Such a sweet post! Your words echoed my thoughts as I watch my boys grow up - far too quickly.
Have a blessed day!
I LOVE< LOVE this post!! truly, it brought tears to my eyes. I think you could have plucked these same thoughts out of my own head. I have two boys (only) and i am so THANKFUL for each second. I am amazed by them and the fact God himself entrusted them to my care.
thanks for this beautiful post and from sharing from your heart.
Erin- I have an award for you over at my blog. Please stop by when you have a moment! Blessings on your day!
Very sweet post. I've got two little men of my own and wouldn't trade them for anything. Without a doubt they are wired to think differently from girls (I've got one of those, too)!
This is beautiful, Erin! Thanks for sharing your heart.
I love being the mama of a little boy. It's such a special relationship. I have a whole new appreciation of my MIL!
Your post touched my heart. :)
Beautiful post! I have the honor of being "Mommy" to three sons, and I love it!
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