His Captive

I have a funny little memory that is very special to me ~ a sweet God moment. I was sitting alone on my little twin bed in my high school bedroom, my legs were crossed and I was stressed. I was wrestling with God over a typical 17 year old girl problem. I knew what God was asking me to do, but I was giving Him an earful of what if's. "But, what if... And, then... And, what will I do when..." I was gone, out of control, nearly hysterical arguing with Him!! Didn't He understand all the ways this decision might affect me socially?? Didn't He see how my silly little world might crumble before me?? And, then, in the middle of my crying out, sobbing, head down looking at my comforter, He did something so amazing and personal that I still love to think about it. It was as if He clapped His hands to silence me. He commanded my attention. He broke through my hysteria. And, He lifted my head. Literally, as if His hand was under my chin pushing my head up, it moved. And, my eyes focused on the left corner of my room right beside my window. And, He said to me, "Keep your eyes fixed on me. Do not look to the left or to the right. There are a lot of what ifs and could be's to the left and to the right. But, I am asking you to put on your blinders, and look only at Me. Trust Me."

And, I did.

And, I never, ever looked back.

And, it was a pivotal moment in my life.

And, I cannot tell you how many times as I have wrested through decisions in life, He has taken me back to that night in my mind and said, "Child, do not look to the left or the right. Keep your gaze fixed on Me."

Yesterday, I had another one of those moments. I've been struggling with something for several days now, really struggling, wavering, stressing, lacking peace. So, yesterday afternoon I did what I usually do when I am feeling this way. I stormed my CD collection for anything by Christy Nockels. Because for some reason, so often God meets me there, in one of her songs, in her God-given words. So, I put on my Watermark's Grateful People CD and went on about my business. A little while later I was caught completely off guard by the song Captivate Us. I was holding Erik Daniel, and we stood in front of the CD player and listened as God poured His sweetness over me. He reminded me, very gently, that the answers to my concerns are not found to the right or to the left. The answers are not found in the what if's and could be's. The answers are found in one place, in one place only, in Him. And, even if the what if's are reasonable concerns, they should not have become my focus. They were captivating me which I suppose means that I was their captive! And, like Peter focusing on the wind and the waves, I lost my balance, my focus, my security, and my peace.

Captivate Us, Lord Jesus, set our eyes on You. Devastate us with Your mercy falling down. . .

It is my prayer ~ to be His captive ~ no one else's, nothing else's.

A Summer Happy!

When JCT found out that I was going out to dinner with Deana B. and her mama, he asked if I would take Afton some popsicles. I told him that it was a very sweet thought, but that they would probably melt before Deana B. could get them home to her!! As per his usual, he reminded me of something obvious that I had forgotten. . .

"Yes, Mama, but we have those popsicles in the pantry that aren't frozen yet!! Can you take her some of those?"

Well, yes, I can, little man. Yes, I can!!

Cute Faces. . .

The summer is literally almost over, and I cannot believe it. My mind is cluttered with so many thoughts and decisions that I can hardly see straight!! As much as I am enjoying the pool and the sunshine, I am so ready to FALL into a routine and some cooler weather!! Do I hear an amen??

The picture above is of my little boys singing some memory work that we have been working on during our "summer school," a.k.a. prepping for what is to come ~ home is not about 24 hour/ 7 day a week play anymore!! It has been an adjustment for all of us. I'd be fibbing if I said the first week was cake, but the more we plug away the more content and enjoyable it has become!! And, I am learning that: a.) They can help me a lot with chores around the house and b.) I used to waste a lot of time. Now nearly every moment is scheduled and somehow the laundry is getting done on a better schedule, and I am cooking more. Yay!!!

Life is good, busy, but good. One day, as I always say, one day things will calm down. But, as I drove around town by myself today, I couldn't help thinking that being alone isn't all that. Some days I dream about just getting to drive around, listen to my music, and go where I want to go. But, when I actually get to do that, it really doesn't do much for me. I kinda miss those cute little voices chatting behind me. So, for the days when I am completely over it, I must remember that these are truly wonderful days!!!! They are, oh, yes, they are!!!

The Influence of the King

And, I'm not talking about the King of Kings. I'm talking about another king, an earthly king. The story goes something like this. . .


Joshua asked Jesus into his heart a while back, but he didn't want to go before the church. He was overwhelmed at the thought. My little man doesn't like the spotlight. He is so precious like that. Anyway, Erik told him just to let us know when he wanted to announce to the church body his decision and be baptized. No pressure, just whenever you are ready, let us know. Over a year passed. . .

And, then, out of the blue, a week or so ago he started talking about wanting to talk to Dr. Jones. Early last week he asked me when he could go to Dr. Jones' office and talk to him. I suggested he go on Friday afternoon when his Daddy could go with him.


Well, later that day Erik and Joshua were discussing when Joshua could visit Dr. Jones. (Suddenly, this was all our little man wanted to talk about):-) Erik asked Joshua, "So, when do you think you'd like to go?"


Joshua answered, "Well, I'm going to do what my mom said to do because that is what Lebron James did. He did what his mom said to do and went to Miami, so I am going to do what my mom said to do, too. And, mommy said I should go Friday. So, I'm going on Friday."


The influence of the king. . .


King James, that is.

July 18, 2010

Joshua,

I am so proud of you my sweet boy. Tonight, as Ben Ford sang Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, you walked the aisle with boldness ~ nothing could have held you back not even fear. You were strong and courageous as you stood before a large group of people who love you very much and professed that you, my sweet son, love Jesus and want to live your life for Him and not for yourself. A huge step for a little man. Your Daddy and I are so proud of you.

I'll never forget the night you asked Jesus into your heart. You were young, but from that moment on you have grown, and I have seen Jesus in you over and over again. I love you.

Tonight Dr. Jones met you at the front of the church. Dr. Jones, the only pastor you have known, was at the hospital within a few hours of your birth praying over you. Mr. Marshall Dickerson, our sweet family friend, sat with you after Dr. Jones prayed with you. And, then, my sweet friend, an entire community of Jesus followers hugged you and whispered tender words to you as your father and I stood with you and took it all in. What a precious evening it was!

But, you know what made it even more precious?

God.

He gave us a gift. As Ben lead the congregation in worship, he sang her song, the song from her memorial service, the song you often refer to as Grandma's song, O How He Loves, the song you used to ask me to play over and over so that you could look at pictures of her and cry until you hadn't anymore tears. And, within the first few notes of that song tonight, I was aware of her, as if she were there with us, letting you know she was so proud of you.

God. He is so sweet like that!

And, Oh, how He does love you. May you always be aware of His love. When life is uncertain, shaky, and grey, may His love always be to you a citadel, a strong fortress, impenetrable, a sure thing, the anchor you cling to, the rock that hold on to, your stability, your refuge, your safe haven, your home, your heartbeat, your very life's breath, all that you need.

I'm so proud of you, and I love you so much! God bless your little life, my sweet son!

Mommy

Savoring Summer. . .

Ready, set. . .Jump!!!!!!!!!!!These summer evenings of grilling out and playing in the pool are fast becoming fond memories for me! Erik told the boys this evening, "We are going to make a lot of memories out here!!!" And, I do believe we will!



Lije wanted me to take a picture of him, too. Here he is looking all cute ~ eyes matching the water and all!! Handsome little "sucka" (as he says):-)!!

And, I can't leave my littlest man out!!! Here he is riding in his penguin floatie! I'm not sure, but I think the penguin is kissing his sweet little head!! My baby is growing up so fast!!

Erik likes to play like he is a shark. He sneaks up on the boys and catches them!!! They squeal and laugh and scream and giggle!! It is a favorite game of theirs!!

Oh, yes, I do like summer!!!

A Good Old Southern Small Town Tradition. . .

If you know me very well, then you know that I am a small town girl. I realize that it is not for everyone, but it works for me! And, I think my boys kind of like it, too. There is something to be said for the closeness of small town life. And, our town's fourth of July parade celebrates all that American small town life is meant to be. It is like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting ~ families getting together to ride, stand, watch and wave. You don't have to sign up to be in the parade. You just show up with a 4-wheeler, golf cart, go-cart, gator, tractor, truck with trailer, bicycle, or horse ~ decorated in red, white and blue. It is a social event, but more than that, it is truly a celebration of what America is all about ~ a country of brothers united ~ and cousins, aunties, mamaws and papaws. . . Good old Southern America!!! Does it get any better than that???

Here are my boys before the parade in the eagle shirts we made. NO, they are not turkeys. They are eagles!!!! (I admit, they do kind of look like turkeys :-))
This is the trailer Joshua, JCT, and I rode on during the parade. . .

And, here are my little patriotic men. . .

And, here is Daddy waving to us from a friend's front yard. . .

JCT and his one of his little friends. . .

After the parade we all meet in one place for lemonade, cookies, the pledge, and the singing of the national anthem. So fun to think that this whole parade began with three kids walking up and down the street with a few pots and pans. And, now it is a long standing tradition! Here is a member of our local Boys and Girls Club singing the national anthem. . .
It is always a great way to kick off a wonderful holiday!!! Happy fourth of July to you!!!!