Downtime Gratitude. . .

My heart overflows. . .

*  For this time of year ~ windows open cool breezes flowing through the house.

*  For downtime with my oldest son.  Time to play UNO and Go Fish, to read aloud, to draw and paint, to sit together and do schoolwork, to sleep close by, to hear his little sleepy breaths, to be there when he needs me. . .  This has been such a blessing in the midst of something not fun.  I love being his mom.  I am so thankful.

*  For a doctor husband.  I don't have to be the bad guy and tighten the braces.  And, when Joshua scared me silly the other night by waking up, but yet not being really awake, shaking all over, speaking only in incoherent mumbles (until Erik asked him the capital of Iowa, and he very clearly answered Des Moines at which point Erik deemed him fine), I was so thankful to have a resident physician to look after him.  I was ready to call 911.

*  The trash talk between my older two!  Somehow it came up that Joshua wouldn't be able to play basketball for a while.  So, JCT said in a very threatening manner, "Well, I'm gonna be training hard over the next 4-5 weeks practicing my moves!!"  Like watch out, big bro, I'm going to be ready for you when you get back to playing!  To which Joshua quickly replied, "Well, I'll be watching basketball on TV over the next 4-5 weeks, and then I'm going to apply all my moves on you!"  Daddy loved this!!  He let out one of his deep belly laughs as he listened to his two big boys go back and forth.  I am so thankful for the relationship between these two little boys.  I pray God grows it richer and deeper year after year.

*  For a windy, rainy day.  For the peace that filled my home as we slowly worked through a day of school.  No rush.  No hurry.  Just four boys and one mama making it work.

*  For grace that covers all that I lack, all that I long to be, but seem unable to meet the standard.  For grace that holds me firmly in His hands, never letting me go.

*  For the hope of spring.  The green in the grass that is just beginning to arise from peaceful slumber.  For daffodils and lilies slowly making their way up and out ~ spring life surrounded by the dead leaves of winter.  A reminder of God's faithfulness throughout the seasons of the year and the seasons of our lives.

Broken

It is just a bone, I realize.  And, a small bone at that.  But, it was a first for Joshua, for me, and for our family.

Silly little accidental football injury.  He was tackled by a friend and hit the ground wrong ~ said he heard a pop when his shoulder hit the ground.  But, he was so brave, so strong, so absolutely, undeniably precious.  I sat on my friend's couch with him, running my hands through his hair, and noticing every cute little freckle.  His lips were pouty, and his whole body shook for a little bit.  We face-timed Daddy, and he did an exam via our iphones.

On the way to Erik's office Joshua got scared of how badly Daddy's examination of his shoulder/arm would hurt.  I reminded him that the only other option was another doctor.  He agreed that letting Daddy be the doctor was the best option ~ even if it hurt.

Sean checking out Joshua's collarbone. . .

Sean made me laugh.  He came into Erik's office, put his hand on Erik's shoulder and said, "Brother, not that I'm glad Joshua broke his clavicle or anything, but we are doing life together!!!"  The thought made me smile.  Memories.  Joshua will never forget this day ~ Daddy taking care of him and Sean trying to make him smile.

Joshua getting his first x-ray. . .

My sweet boy's little broken clavicle. . .

The two most uncomfortable parts were the exam, and the putting on of the brace.  Yikes!

But, Daddy was gentle, and Joshua was tough.  He hardly made a sound.  I love that little boy with all my heart, and I love his sweet doctor, too.

But, there is something odd about all of this.  After I got home and reflected a minute, I realized that something somewhere deep inside was bothering me.  What was it?

I struggled to put my finger on it.  But, I finally did.  Part of my son was broken today.  That has never happened prior to this.  I've never seen him hurt like he did today.  An accident happened, and it happened to my son.  Something unpredictable, unpreventable, something completely unusual happened.  How many times has he been tackled??  Many.  It was completely accidental, and that bothers me.  It was a reminder that I can't prevent things from happening to my boys.  I'm still wrestling with it all. But, I know that they are in God's hands not mine.  They will break bones, they will have accidents, and nothing I can do can keep them perfectly safe.  I'm not thrilled about that, but there isn't much I can do about it ~ except trust God, keep walking, and be so thankful that it was just his clavicle that was broken today.

Here he is after we got home. . .

He is sleeping in our big comfy chair tonight because it feels better to be propped up.

He is going to be okay, and I'm pretty sure my heart will be, too.

The Kids that Call you Mom. . .

One day last week Joshua handed me this note with a large glass of ice he had gotten for me (I eat ice like crazy when I'm pregnant). . .

The "Go" and the arrow were meant to tell me to flip the note over. When I flipped it over, I read this. . .

Oh, my! My heart melts into a puddle every time I read it!!! I do not deserve these sweet boys!!!!

A Man and His Dog. . .

I was busy switching a load of laundry when curious James came running into the kitchen from the schoolroom.

"Mom, what is Mr. Cole doing??? He is outside with a huge pile of dirt! I think he is digging!!"

My heart sank. I knew exactly what he was doing.

Bruno, Mr. Cole's fourteen year old sidekick Labrador, had died the morning before. Bruno has stood stately and proper on Mr. Cole's front porch everyday since we moved here ten years ago. We all loved him. Mr. Cole walked him twice a day, everyday ~ rain or shine. You could set your clock by those walks. He would bark every evening at about 5:00 when Mr. Coles' truck neared the final turn onto our road. He would greet his owner with barks and excitement ~ anticipating his evening stroll. We'll miss Bruno.

I walked to the window and looked out, and, sure enough, there stood Mr. Cole with a shovel working alone. My heart sank. I grabbed a handful of flowers from a vase on my bar, put Joshua in charge, and headed out the door.

(The flowers were from an altar bouquet Erik bought in memory of his mother. I know she smiled as she saw me getting one more use out of them before they died. She was ultra practical like that! :-)

As I walked out of the house, I was struck by the beauty of this warm autumn day ~ the sun was shining, the trees were bright with color. And, there stood Mr. Cole, shovel in hand, working. He was burying Bruno in the shade of several large oaks. As I walked I listened to the leaves crunch under my feet and wondered exactly what to say to him. By this time, I was teary thinking about a man saying goodbye to his faithful friend.

As I approached him, he smiled at me. Mr. Cole, I think, smiles in his sleep. In the ten years I have known him, I have never seen him without his smile. It is his natural expression. We talked for a few minutes. He showed me the box he built for Bruno. My heart hurt. I handed him the flowers. He assured me he would place them on top after he finished. Then, I ran back home to my boys.

They were concerned about Mr. Cole.

"Was he crying?"

"Is he sad, Mommy?"

Then, Joshua asked for a piece of paper and a pencil. And, I knew what for, sweet son of mine. I gave it to him, and a few minutes later, he handed me this. . .

He knows how Mr. Cole "fills." I thought that was so sweet. No doubt, he was thinking of his Grandma in heaven with Jesus. So, later that day we took Mr. Cole some peanut butter brownies with chocolate buttercream icing and Joshua's note. Just our way of letting him know that we are thinking of him.

There is just something about a man and his dog.

Joshua' First 5K

Before the race. . .Lining up. . .
Joshua has been running with Erik off and on for a year or so now, but this was his first race experience. He had fun! And, so did I! JCT, Lije, and I saw them off and then headed to the heart of our small town's fall festival in search of a nutritious breakfast. . .

We thought this would do. . .

The boys very first funnel cake experience! Needless to say, they loved it!
As I waited for the man to make our funnel cake, I took in the sights and sounds of small town festival! I could smell the funnel cake cooking, and they had Johnny Cougar Mellencamp playing. It took me back. . . Way, way back. . .

But, then Erik Daniel started getting restless, and I quickly came back to the reality that I am not a small town teenage girl anymore! I am a mom x 5!!! How did that happen???

So, Erik and Joshua came in one right after the other. Here is Erik. . .

And, look at my little runner of a son!!!!! He never quit, never stopped to walk! He ran the entire 3 miles like a champ. They had 27 minute, ?? second time!!! So, so good for a first run!!!! Yay! Go Joshua!

I'm beaming with pride, little man!!!!

It Was a Very Special Day. . .

Precious.


So, so precious.


I cannot tell you how much it meant to us that our sweet pastor welcommed the idea of letting Joshua's Pop baptize him. It meant so much to us. Our pastor has come to mean so much to our family over the years. We love him dearly, and I am so thankful that he is standing right next to Pop in these pictures we will look at for years to come. How sweet to watch Erik's Dad, who after 52 years of baptizing members of his own congregations, now was baptizing one of his grandsons!!! Erik said that he could just hear his mama saying, "Nobody does it like Jimmy Dukes!" We don't know if she can see us from heaven, but if she can we know she was smiling as she watched us walk through this special day.


I caught up with my little man before the baptism, and took this picture. . .

I love it!! I think I love it because he looks so young and sweet!! If only I could bottle years! Here he is getting into the water, his Daddy helping him. . .

Pop taking his little hand in his. . .

I love the tenderness with which Pop baptized Joshua. They were such sweet moments!

Pop was so gentle and cautious. This was a day I hope Joshua never forgets, and I don't think he will.

Baptisms almost always make me cry. I love the symbolism!

Here they are after they dressed. . .

The day was so special. We invited some of our closest friends over after the service for a light lunch and celebration. The people we invited were people who have influenced Joshua spiritually. It was a sweet group, and we had a wonderful, relaxing time. At one point Erik gave Joshua a charge. Through tears he challenged Joshua to live a life worthy. It was so intense and emotional. Erik looked only at Joshua piercing his soul with his fatherly words of wisdom and advice. He challenged our sweet boy to be strong and courageous and to be full of power, love, and self-discipline. It was all the things Erik challenges the boys with on a daily basis rolled into one wonderful, and very emotional, charge.

It was a special day ~ one that none of us will soon forget!

The Influence of the King

And, I'm not talking about the King of Kings. I'm talking about another king, an earthly king. The story goes something like this. . .


Joshua asked Jesus into his heart a while back, but he didn't want to go before the church. He was overwhelmed at the thought. My little man doesn't like the spotlight. He is so precious like that. Anyway, Erik told him just to let us know when he wanted to announce to the church body his decision and be baptized. No pressure, just whenever you are ready, let us know. Over a year passed. . .

And, then, out of the blue, a week or so ago he started talking about wanting to talk to Dr. Jones. Early last week he asked me when he could go to Dr. Jones' office and talk to him. I suggested he go on Friday afternoon when his Daddy could go with him.


Well, later that day Erik and Joshua were discussing when Joshua could visit Dr. Jones. (Suddenly, this was all our little man wanted to talk about):-) Erik asked Joshua, "So, when do you think you'd like to go?"


Joshua answered, "Well, I'm going to do what my mom said to do because that is what Lebron James did. He did what his mom said to do and went to Miami, so I am going to do what my mom said to do, too. And, mommy said I should go Friday. So, I'm going on Friday."


The influence of the king. . .


King James, that is.

July 18, 2010

Joshua,

I am so proud of you my sweet boy. Tonight, as Ben Ford sang Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, you walked the aisle with boldness ~ nothing could have held you back not even fear. You were strong and courageous as you stood before a large group of people who love you very much and professed that you, my sweet son, love Jesus and want to live your life for Him and not for yourself. A huge step for a little man. Your Daddy and I are so proud of you.

I'll never forget the night you asked Jesus into your heart. You were young, but from that moment on you have grown, and I have seen Jesus in you over and over again. I love you.

Tonight Dr. Jones met you at the front of the church. Dr. Jones, the only pastor you have known, was at the hospital within a few hours of your birth praying over you. Mr. Marshall Dickerson, our sweet family friend, sat with you after Dr. Jones prayed with you. And, then, my sweet friend, an entire community of Jesus followers hugged you and whispered tender words to you as your father and I stood with you and took it all in. What a precious evening it was!

But, you know what made it even more precious?

God.

He gave us a gift. As Ben lead the congregation in worship, he sang her song, the song from her memorial service, the song you often refer to as Grandma's song, O How He Loves, the song you used to ask me to play over and over so that you could look at pictures of her and cry until you hadn't anymore tears. And, within the first few notes of that song tonight, I was aware of her, as if she were there with us, letting you know she was so proud of you.

God. He is so sweet like that!

And, Oh, how He does love you. May you always be aware of His love. When life is uncertain, shaky, and grey, may His love always be to you a citadel, a strong fortress, impenetrable, a sure thing, the anchor you cling to, the rock that hold on to, your stability, your refuge, your safe haven, your home, your heartbeat, your very life's breath, all that you need.

I'm so proud of you, and I love you so much! God bless your little life, my sweet son!

Mommy

To our Joshua. . .

It is so nice to have you home during the day again. I've missed you, my sweet little helper friend! And, I think your brothers have missed you, as well.

So, welcome back, little man. Welcome back into the daily routine.

Your presence is a sweet addition to our day!! You add joy and laughter, creativity and fun to every minute! Man, how we've missed having you around all day.

We think you are pretty special.

I take that back, we know you are.

All A's All Year!!

Good job!! We are so proud of you, Buddy!!! You are truly growing in wisdom and stature faster than we ever imagined!!!

You have matured so much this year. If we have heard it once, we have heard it a thousand times, "Joshua is such a sweet boy." I love you, and I am proud of you no matter what grades you make. Because, you, my little friend, you, have what it takes. And, I can't wait to see what our God has in store for your life. You are unique and precious ~ our first amazing little gift from God.

I sat high up in the bleachers and watched you before the program began. I watched as you talked quietly with your friends. I'm so proud of you, sweet son.


You make mama's heart smile! :-) I love you!!

The little man is growing up! This week we, as a family, experienced Joshua's very first coach-pitch baseball game, and it was a very fun ordeal!! Joshua loved it, and JCT is more excited than ever about the beginning of his t-ball season!! This summer, for the first time, we will be juggling sports activities for two children!! Thankfully, we live in a small town with one very large park that hosts all of the city's baseball games including the high school and jr. college games! So, even if the boys have games at the same time, at least they will be at the same location!!

Now, on to some important pictures from this momentous occasion!! Here is the little man in the outfield, (he is the little boy in the center). . .Here he is hitting. . .

Now, running to first ~ "Go, Joshua, go!!! Run, run, run!!!!!!". . .
On third, waiting for a chance to run home. . .


Coming home for the first time in his little career. . .

I was a little concerned about Joshua playing baseball this summer. For starters he just turned 7, so he is as young as one can be and play in the league he is in. And, that kind of makes mama nervous! And, also, Erik and Sean are coaching JCT and Afton's t-ball team, so for the very first time in his life, his Daddy is not his coach. Yikes!! We skipped baseball last year, so not only is Joshua the youngest kid on his team, but he also has less experience playing the game than all the other boys.

So, months ago I began praying that God would give him a sweet and encouraging coach who would help him learn the game and catch up with the bigger boys. I was so afraid that he would get a coach who was more interested in winning than in teaching my little man to his best!

And, guess what? God is so good! He gave Joshua a great head coach!!! In fact, his first time up to bat, Joshua swung at and missed his first two pitches. Thankfully, he hit his third!! But, after each of his first two attempts, his sweet coach encouraged him from the pitcher's mound, "Good swing, Buddy!! That was a great swing! Now, keep your eye on the ball! Here we go. . ." I can't tell you what a relief his coach's attitude was to me!!!! And, they have played two games so far and won them both! Go Cardinals!!!!!

Now, here are some behind the scenes pics from the game. . .

How cute is this little darling. . .


Here are some cute little boys getting some love from "Nana Betty". . .

This is a good friend of ours, Mrs. Wendy's, mama, and she loves my boys. She and "Papa Don" have the boys over to their home for ice cream and coke and all sorts of good treats! We are thankful for how they love our boys. . .

And, one last look at the little baseball player. . .

The boys are really enjoying baseball season! JCT keeps asking when he gets to go to t-ball practice again. And, the little boys enjoy running ALL OVER the park chasing dogs and other children, etc. during games and practices. I am getting a workout, I assure you!! Thankfully, inevitably, someone will stop me from chasing one of my littles and let me know that Joshua is up to bat!!!

It will be a crazy summer, but I wouldn't have it any other way! And, I am thankful that while I watch my sweet boys play, I get to hang out with some of my very favorite people from my little town. And, I am thankful that people in small towns tend to have the "it takes a village" mentality. And, there are lots of eyes helping me look out for my littles and lots of arms that hold them and lots of sweet older couples who don't mind at all if my little boys want to make friends with them and distract them from watching their grandchildren!!!

It should be a fun summer!