My Secret

Do you want to know my secret?  My favorite secret?  Okay, I'll tell you.  It is the secret of my sanity.  If you know me, you really do wonder how I remain sane.  So, I'm going to tell you.  It is very simple really.

I am married to a really neat man, but he isn't the secret.  He is busy, though.  He sees lots of patients.  He is the team doctor for our local high school and jr. college which means being present at ballgames.  He is presently coaching four basketball teams, and one of them is a travel team.  He is also on the pastor search committee and the deacon body and will soon be attending rehearsals for the Easter drama where he will once again be Jesus.

What do I do?

I keep the house running, the kids doing chores and schoolwork, make sure the babies are fed and bathed and that Jack gets his seizure medicine twice a day everyday.  That is what I do.

Erik's schedule means that he may be home one or two evenings a week.  What does this mean for me?  Well, it means I do what I do all day, and then I do the evenings and bedtime routine, too.  It means I make a lot of meals that either don't get eaten or they get eaten in shifts.

There are nights when I am tired, but God is gracious and good, and I wake up the next morning ready for another day! It helps that I love what I do, but still I couldn't do this on my own strength day after day.

So, here is the secret to my sanity...

God in the moment.  God in every breath. God all day.  God in the morning as the sun rises while I sip coffee and read His word.  God as the kids slowly one by one rise and immediately come to my side for a good morning hug.  God in the shower.  God in school.  God in His word as we learn it.  God in history.  God in science.  God in literature.  God in their journals. God in their questions.  God in the conversation at lunch. God in their prayers. God in the sunshine.  God in the cold wind.  God in the deep breaths as I take the dog out.  God in the quiet of afternoon reading time.  God in the babies' wakeful cries.  God in my nursing babe.  God in the second pot of coffee.  God in the fresh from the oven cookies.  God in the smiles.  God in the laughter. God in the tears.  God in the clouds.  God in the sunshine reflecting on the pond.  God in the birds eating at the bird feeder.  God in the trees blowing gently.  God in the snotty sloppy wet kisses.  God in the pot boiling on the stove.  God in the hardy meal.  God in the growing boys' banter.  God in the Lego creations.  God in the sound of basketballs bouncing.  God in the puzzle pieces. God in the sunset.  God in the splashing happy bath time.  God in the sweet smelling babies.  God in the glider rocking and reading with us. God in the last one tucked snug and warm. God in the last kiss. God in the moon.  God in the stars. God in the quiet. God in my warm home.  God in my soft bed.  God in the moment.  God in every moment.

Slowing and seeing God in every moment.  Feeling Him.  Knowing His presence.  Sensing His presence.  Pausing in His presence.  This not only keeps me sane, but it keeps my heart at rest, at peace.  There is nothing this earth can offer that compares to our God.

I have lived enough to know that sometimes when a challenge arises, God can turn that challenge, that difficult obstacle, into an opportunity to do something amazing within us.  I wasn't excited about this new season of craziness, but I have already learned so much by just leaning into Him for strength during this time.  He is so faithful.