A Sweet Lesson, an Overflowing cup, and a Precious Baby. . .

Isn't it amazing the thought that God placed each of our children into our families. We do not choose; He does the choosing. We are the blessed recipients of His goodness. Biological or adopted each child is placed perfectly into the family in which God ordained for the child to be reared. He knows our needs and the needs of the little ones with whom He entrusts us. And, He divinely pairs us up. He doesn't ask for our help. He knows better. He knows best. To me that is precious, and I am so thankful for it.

God has chosen to, once again, bless our sweet family with a little boy! And, the moment that I saw his little profile on the ultrasound screen I knew. . . I knew that he was mine, given to me by my God. I marveled at his little arms, legs and hands - all so precious to me. I watched him moving constantly, putting his tiny arm over his face, and, I fell in love with him.

I must be completely honest and say that as we drove to the restraunt for our post-ultrasound date a selfish thought occured to me. . . the thought that I may never have a daughter. And, a strange saddness came over me, a feeling of loss. This thought has occured to me before, but I usually push it away knowing that it is wrong and ungrateful. I shared my feelings with my sweet husband. And, for a few minutes I contemplated it all. And, I heard my God sweetly saying, "Does the clay say to the Potter. . ." Erik looked me in the eyes and said, "God has chosen us to raise Godly men. This is our cup. Embrace your cup." (He actually said that - "embrace your cup" - it got to me - deeply.)

This is my unique cup chosen for me by my Father. How sweet is that. No matter what our cup holds, the contents have all been sifted through His sovereign fingers and poured gently there by hands of love. I cherish that. I trust that. Whatever we long for - be it a daughter, a child to call our own, health for a child we love , a husband to love and be loved by, whatever it is, He knows our longing. He knows, and He cares. And, with great love for us He gives us each our portion and our cup. But, the beauty is in the end of the verse. (Can you tell this is my life verse?) Our lot is secure. We are secure in Him no matter our cup, no matter our earthly assingment. We are His, we are loved, and we are secure.

So, tonight as we drove home from a long afternoon of shopping, our boys both fell asleep in the backseat. It was about 7:45 when we got home. We each took a child to put to bed. Erik took Joshua, and I took JCT. I walked around to the other side of the car, looked inside, and stared in amazement at this precious child. He was sound asleep, lips all puffed out sweetly. I just paused for a minute and watched him sleep. Then, I slowly took him out of his carseat, sliding one of my hands under each of his arms. And, I held his sweet little body to my chest, soft, sleepy breaths in my ear. I carried him inside, changed his clothes, and put him in his bed. Then, I went to kiss Joshua who was already asleep in his bed. Again, through the pale moonlight of his window, I marveled at God's handiwork. I kissed his soft wind-chapped cheek, and I was overwhelmed. I heard my Father speaking deeply into my heart. . . "Does the clay say to the Potter. . ." And, with a tear gently rolling down my cheek, I quietly replied, "No, Father, no." His faithfulness overwhelms me.

I know it is a silly and selfish thing for me to have thought, but in all honesty it was my thought. And, I wanted to share how God walked me through it. I love how He does that. He doesn't give up on us. No, He walks us through our situations, no matter how silly. I tend to make mountains out of mole-hills, but He faithfully walks with me, journeys alongside me. He knows I am a drama queen. He made me. Isn't it awesome to have your Creator as your best friend! The one Who knit us together in our mother's womb, loves us, and walks with us until we meet Him face to face!

Okay, now on a lighter note, I will tell you what my Joshua said when we told him that the baby was a boy. Let me preface this by saying that he has wanted a sister since JCT was born. He used to call JCT his sister - which we quickly put a stop to! Anyway, he has called this baby a girl from the beginning of the pregnancy. And, the whole way home from dinner I was dreading telling him the news. So, when we got home, we sat the boys down in front of the TV. We played the video of the ultrasound and pointed out the baby to the boys. JCT wasn't very interested, but Joshua was. At one point the baby spread his little legs, and Erik took the opportunity to tell Joshua. He said, "See there are his legs, and there is his poe poe. He has a poe poe like you, Joshua. Do you know what that means? That means that the baby is a brother. You are going to have another brother! What do you think about that!!!" Erik is all smiles. Joshua puts on a huge frowny face and growls like some sort of wild, hungry animal. I wait to see what he will say. . . And, then out of no where, Joshua quits growling and says, "Just throw that poe poe away!!!!!!!"

He, too, will learn to embrace his cup, for his lot is secure.