Friday, September 11, 2015

Slight Overreaction...

I'm a little dramatic.  Well, maybe it is more that I just like to be prepared, overly, prepared.  So, a few years ago I noticed this spot on the bottom of my foot while bathing.  I thought it odd ~ like a stain that I couldn't wash away.  I never thought of it as a mole.  I watched it, noticing it here and there over the past few years.  And, then one day a few weeks ago, I showed it to Erik who looked at it and said it was a mole and had asymmetry. He wanted our dermatologist to look at it.  That was a week before my appointment.  And, in the space of that week, I planned my funeral and what my family's life would look like without me. Seriously. I was convinced that I would be diagnosed with melanoma, and I was so upset with myself for knowing about this silly spot for literally years and not doing anything about it!!!

Erik, so sweetly, went with me to my appointment because he knew how nervous I was. And, as we sat in the waiting room, one of my best friends came to sit with me, too!  Such a sweet surprise to see her sweet face peek in the waiting room door!!

Long story short.  All was fine.

We went out to eat, and then went home and played outside with our children.  It hit me as I walked Emery, Jack, and Zeke down to the swing set.  A slight breeze, beautiful evening light, and I took a long deep breath.  I felt my lungs fill and release, and my eyes filled with tears of relief. I had so prepared myself for the worst that I hadn't really considered that it might be nothing and I might get to go on as normal.  So, in that moment it hit me that I still might get to see my children graduate and marry.  I still might get to grow old with my love.  And, I was overwhelmed.  The trees looked more green, the air more crisp and clean, the sky was orange and red and beautiful.  I felt alive, and it felt so good. I was literally filled with gratitude for every little thing.

I want to live like that every moment of every day...

Aware of the blessing that is being here with the ones I love.

I want to laugh more. Relax more. Worry less. Trust more. Get frazzled and frustrated less. Love more.  Love deeply. Life is rich and beautiful and, oh, so blessed. I'm so thankful. I cannot even speak it.


Tara Lee said...

I had something a little similar happen to me this week! I had mistakenly purchased espresso coffee and was drinking three cups of it each morning, thinking it was just regular coffee. I was sooooo dizzy all day, off and on, for about a week...which made my mind go to all sorts of crazy thoughts about my health, and what if's and googling...THEN the coffee ran out, I purchased my regular blend, and the dizziness went away. It was only after the fact that I realized the dizziness was because of the extra, extra caffeine in my system! : ) Silly me!

Christi said...

I am a melanoma SURVIVOR!!! I am so glad you took it seriously, it is so muh better to be safe than sorry. And it does give you a new thankful view on life. So glad everything checked out okay! xo

Erin said...

Yay, for you, Survivor!! My brother is also a melanoma survivor! I will definitely be more careful!!! I should have known better than to wait so long! I learned a very important lesson!

Jenny D said...

Happy to see you posting again. I've always loved reading your blog. Such a neat family!

Jenny D said...

Happy to see you posting again. I've always loved reading your blog. Such a neat family!

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Hi! I live in a sweet country home overflowing with love, laughter, and little ones. I have been blessed to journey these days beside a man that I love, respect, and admire. He is my soul-mate and best friend. Together we are seeking to raise our seven children to be lovers of God, to be wise and discerning, and to be all that our sweet God created them to be. I am in the goldfish and cheerio stage of life, but I am keenly aware that these days are slipping right through my hands. This blog is my attempt to keep our memories safe for years to come.


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