This post comes with a WARNING label.

Warning: This post should not be read by anyone who is pregnant or has a weak stomach.



It has been a day, one of those days. You know the ones where you run around all day putting out one fire after another and never really getting caught up on anything. Crazy. I began my day by getting up at 5:30 to have a little alone time to pray and read. Well, that lasted about 5 minutes, and then JCT woke up and there was no putting him back to sleep. Elijah didn't nap well in the morning or in the afternoon. And, JCT fell asleep in the pick-up line at Joshua's school, thus ruining his afternoon nap. Both the little boys were extremely irritable and tired all day. It had already been a long day by mid-afternoon, but it was about to get a little longer or at the very least, it was about to get a little more interesting. . .



I put Elijah down for his afternoon cat-nap, settled the big boys down with dry erase markers and placemats to write on, and leashed my furry Weimeraner friend for his afternoon outing - you know, to do his job. As I was finishing up Rain's little walk, Joshua opened the back door and began yelling at the top of his lungs in an earpiecing, terrorizing, screaming voice, "MOMMMMMMY!!!! MOMMMMMMY!!!"



My heart-rate was surely around 200, and my mind was racing with irrational scenerios. "What is it, baby???" I asked as I got closer to the door.



There was no blood. No lives were being threated. Thank You, Jesus.



"JCT went poo poo on the floor!!!! Grosssssss! And, it stinks, Mommy."



I walked into the house and found JCT standing frozen in front of the potty, pants down around his ankles. Diarrhea was running down both his legs, piled in his pants, spilling over onto his shoes and the floor. It must have come like an explosion because there were splatters all over both steps of our step stool which was sitting right behind him. He looked at me with big eyes filled with alligator tears and said, "Mommy, I was tee teeing, and I didn't know I had to go poo poo, and then it just came and I couldn't turn around fast enough. I'm sorry, Mommy."



I assured him that it was okay, just an accident. Then, I took Rain off the leash, and thought deeply about what to do first, second, and third. JCT stood frozen, not moving a muscle. As I bent over him cleaning his legs with wet wipes, my exact thought was, "Motherhood is over-rated!" But, I don't really mean that - I was just in the moment. Then, I picked my darling JCT up, undressed him, and carried his naked body over to the kitchen sink where I scrubbed his legs and bottom with antibacterial hand soap. Next, I dried him off, clothed him, and sent him off to play with Joshua while I attempted to clean up the mess.



I took a deep breath, inhale . . . exhale . . ., and walked back into the bathroom.



But, something mysterious had happened. There was no diarrhea.



Anywhere.



There were no splatters on the step stool. There was nothing on the floor. His clothes were laying on the floor with only smears where the massive amounts of poo poo had been. For a moment, I stared in confusion. Surely not Joshua, he won't go anywhere near anything "dirty." And, I am almost certain I don't believe in fairy God-mothers and the sort. Who could have done it?

Then, I heard it. . .



A large animal was walking behind me. . .



LICKING HIS LIPS!



And, suddenly I was transported back in time. . .



It was 2005, and Joshua had poo pooed for the very first time in his little kiddie potty. We did the happy dance, and then we decided that since Daddy would be home soon, we would keep the poo poo to show him - at Joshua's request, I assure you. So, we kept the little potty in the powder bath with Joshua's prize deposit safe and snug inside. I was busy taking care of baby JCT when Joshua came running to me crying, "Rain ate my poo poo, Mommy. Rain just ate my poo poo!!" I assessed the situation, and by golly, yes, Rain had in fact eaten it.

Back to 2008. . .

In an instant I knew that once again my dog had partaken of my children's excrements.

But, hey, it made the clean up soooo much easier!!!!! Poor dog, I baby-gated him in the sunroom for the rest of the day for fear he might (cringe) kiss someone!!!!