New Mommy Necklace

My sweet Mommy picked out this necklace as a gift for me celebrating the birth of baby #4. . .


whenever that birth may happen.

It says, "Hand holder. . . Dream soother. . . Love giver"

And, I love it.

She ordered it from Lisa Leonard Designs. I love everything she does! So, so beautiful and sentimental!

Thanks, Mommy!

In Case You Are Wondering. . .

This is what I look like. . .

I still have a baby in my belly.

And, that is a good thing. . .

for the most part, anyway.

We are still waiting. . .


Patiently. . .


Well, sometimes, patiently. . .


Sometimes, a bit more impatiently. . .


But, mostly we are waiting patiently.


Could he be my first 39 weeker, or 40 weeker?


We'll see!


My mom is here waiting with us, and it is always such fun to have her happy heart in our home! The boys are thrilled with Nana's presence as am I!




But, I know that I need to have a baby in order to keep her here legitimately, so come visit us Erik Daniel!!!

When you are ready. . .

In God's perfect timing. . .

And, all that jazz!

So, here is what we have been up to. . . playing, waiting, walking, laughing, eating (lots of sugar), talking, texting, drinking (lots of Sonic), and just enjoying being together!

And, Elijah is soaking up his last little bit of being the baby of the family!

To be quite honest, I am not feeling much, at present, to make me feel that labor is right around the corner. I am not changing much from day to day dilation-wise. I am staying around 4 cm. So, we will see what the next few days or weeks (cringe) bring!!!

Crazy!!

This morning we saw our sweet company off, and now the focus has shifted from: Joshua starting kindergarten - to - sweet company - to - awaiting Erik Daniel's arrival!!

No, we have not met our newest little man face to face yet. . . We said many a prayer this past week that if it was God's will and His perfect timing that He would allow Erik Daniel to make his grand enterance while Jen and family were here. But, Erik Daniel has not been fully cooked, so we continue to wait for him!! I'll be 38 weeks tomorrow, and two out of my three children were born during my 38th week. JCT was my early bird making his appearance during my 37th week. Only time will tell. . .

But, I am feeling little things that indicate that it will probably not be too much longer. Hopefully, it will be during this next week. Erik checked me this morning, and I was 3 cm. So, things are moving along bit by bit. . .

I have around 3,000 things that I'd like to get done in the next hour before I need to leave to pick up my sweet Joshua. So, I am going to begin by folding and putting away laundry & by packing my hospital bag (just in case ;-))!!

Nesting. . .

I spent a little extra time staring at my ripe belly this morning. It kind of makes me chuckle. I've always had a rather small frame, so this huge bump in the middle of my torso makes me smile. Everyone assumes that I am eager to have my baby. I mean, after all, it is nearly 100 degrees outside, and I am 9 months pregnant, for goodness sake! And, in some ways I am ready to have my sweet baby, but in many others ways I am not. I am content to be 36 weeks pregnant today. I like my big round belly, and I love to feel my little precious one move inside me. In a few weeks I will give birth for the fourth and most likely the last time in my life. And, something about that fact is bittersweet to me.

I love giving birth. Well, I don't actually like the part after they break my water and the contractions get really hard to bear. And, the pushing part, I don't really like it a whole lot either. And, then there is that ring of fire at the end - yeah, not my favorite either. I much prefer the part after the head and shoulders have been delivered and the rest of the body slithers out, and Erik holds up our newest little man for me to see. Now that is the part that I like best. And, then he hands him to me all slimy and wet. And, despite the fact the he has a bright red, squished together swollen face and an angry cry that you could hear across the globe, I melt thinking that he is the most beautiful and wonderful thing I have known in all my life. And, all the pain of the last hour or so is completely forgotten and all that I know is that I love this baby with all my heart, and I just want to hold him forever close to my chest. I could do that part a million times over, hence, why I have so many children!

I am saying all of this because as my due date is rapidly approaching I am feeling a little bit sentimental knowing that most likely I will not be doing this again. Unless, of course, Erik begs me to have another child with him. And, then, I may just have to oblige him and say "Yes!" But, I don't think that is going to happen, so I am savoring every moment of this sweet time.

I have gotten most everything ready. All of my 0-3 month baby clothes have been washed and put in drawers. I had the boys' t-shirts printed last week. And, the boys picked out a little stuffed animal especially for their new little brother. Other than charging cameras and packing my bags, I am ready. But, I can wait. . . just as long as he wants to wait. . . I can wait. . .

These are sweet days, any moment could become a long lasting memory. No one knows the day or the hour when God will whisper to my little one, "It is time. . ." And, then he will begin that precious little journey that will lead him out of my belly and into my arms.

Godspeed. . .

Little one, as I write this I am feeling you move inside me. I am feeling your little hands and feet wiggle and kick and stretch. How precious is that! How precious is your little life!



I must admit, sweet one, my hands are full right now, full from taking care of your big brothers. And, as I sit on the floor and play with them, or as I make their lunches, or push them on the swings, sometimes you will shift your position and remind me of your sweet presence. Your little movements serve to remind me that you are alive and well and growing. And, as the movements get stronger, you remind me that one day, one day soon, you will be with us. You will no longer be a mystery, you will be here, right here, with me. And, I will hold you, treasure you, cherish you, and embrace you with the love only a mother can give.



I will sleep with your sweet infant body on my chest, and I will listen to your little baby breaths. I will hold your tiny body against mine and stare at the two of us in the mirror. I will marvel at the fact that God would choose to bless me with you. And, I will do my best to keep those moments locked in my memory forever.



But, it isn't just about you and me, baby, you have brothers!! You have big brothers who cannot wait to meet you!! One in particular, JCT, thinks that you belong to him! He tells me all the time that you are his baby, not my baby, his baby! And, Joshua, a seasoned older brother, cannot wait to meet you, as well! They kiss and zurburt you through my belly all the time. They even attempt to tickle you through my skin! You are so loved, baby boy.



Can I tell you one more thing? Just in case you ever wonder. . .



It doesn't get old. It never gets old. I think God could bless me with 20 children, and I would still feel the same way. I would still feel the wonder, the magic, the awesomeness, of being given the gift of a child by my loving God. Unique, precious, priceless, little one, I love you, and I cannot wait to meet you. In His perfect timing, when you are fully formed and ready, we will be waiting to meet you, waiting to lavish lots of love on your sweet little wrinkly newborn body!



Godspeed, little one, Godspeed. . .

The Difference a Year Makes. . .

This is a picture taken of me by my mother one year and one week ago. . .

April 2007

And, this is a picture of me taken by my husband yesterday. . .

April 2008

By the looks of my swollen abdomen, a year hasn't made a whole lot of difference! But, looks can be very, very deceiving!! Note: the cute little man waving in the picture!

Chosen by God to be our Baby

Hello, little one, chosen by God to be our baby. I love you sincerely with all my heart, and I long to see your sweet face and hold your tiny baby body. But, I am glad to wait and feel you grow and move within me. Dear, precious child, I cannot tell you how fun it was to watch you via ultrasound last Friday. We watched you move and stretch and yawn. And, I wanted so badly to reach right through that screen and hold you close to me! Little cutie! I have noticed lately that you don't seem to be a very active little one. I am thankful for the times when I feel you kick because it isn't very often. You seem to be fairly calm. Amy, our ultrasound tech, kept commenting on how you stayed curled up in a ball. In the picture above you can see your sweet knees up by your nose!! I can't wait to see if you still like to be curled up in a ball when you come out to be with us!

And, if there was any doubt about your masculinity, it was quickly dismissed. This was one of the first pictures Amy took!

I love this picture of your arm beside your sweet baby head. I love you little man!

After the Ultrasound, we went to a cute little maternity/baby store to buy something for you! And, we found this frame that matched our living room perfectly. We thought it was the perfect place to display a picture of you, little love.

Moments after I set the frame down, I caught your sweet oldest brother kissing your picture. Your big brothers talk about you all the time. They love you so much already!

You are such a joy to us already!

Godspeed, sweet one, Godspeed.

Until then, know that I am loving you. . .

Not to be outdone by the youngest. . .

This post was originally, wholly, supposed to be about this little one. . .






Let me introduce you, this is my youngest, my darling little surprise from God. The sonographer gave us a glimpse into this little one's life inside of me yesterday.


Yes, I am pregnant. It is official. There is a small strawberry sized child swimming around (or doing Karate, as the sonographer said) in my belly. I have had a little trouble believing that this baby was real. Mostly, I think, because this baby wasn't planned like the others. I wasn't mentally prepared for it. God sorta thrust this one upon us, and we are most grateful!

In fact, Amy, the sonographer looked at me very confused when I walked into her room. She expected me to be large with child. She remembered doing an ultrasound on me not that long ago and thought this US was of Elijah still in my belly. Thankfully, that was not the case. We laughed and explained that we simply got pregnant again fairly quickly.


I am always a bit nervous before the first US. Will there really be a baby in there? Will the heart be beating? Will the baby be okay? I'm not a sick pregnant person, and I'm not showing yet, so I really have had no proof that this little one was real. But, now I have my proof! Erik and I both think we most likely saw boy parts on this little one, so we are convinced that we will be one boy short of a basketball team!!! I am 12 weeks and 2 days! Time is flying!!!!


After the US Erik and I hurried home, fed the kids, and took them to the church for a much beloved P.N.O. (Parent's Night Out). After dropping them off, Erik and I headed to a local restaurant for dinner. We ate and talked without interruption. We didn't have to cut up food, feed a baby, or say, "Sit on your bottom," fifty thousand times. We just talked. And, our conversation centered around the darling little one that we had seen a glimpse of earlier that day. For a few hours the new little one stole the show. . .


But, his moments of glory, as the focus of the family were not to last long. . . The tide turned dramatically moments after we returned home from picking up the boys at church. When we came in the door, I was proudly showing Joshua US pics of the new baby when JCT announced that his "tummy hwurts. . ." A few minutes later I looked down and found JCT standing at my feet with his arms wrapped around his tummy repeating over and over, "Mommy my tummy hwurts. My tummy hwurts, Mommy." I grabbed him and held him over the sink, and what happened next was volatile.


Now, this was a first for me. Somehow over the past 5 years, we have avoided the stomach virus. I have never had to hold, love, and clean up a vomity little boy. And, I'll say it is something I hope I never have to do again, but, unfortunately, I know that I will.


So, after JCT finished at the sink, I put him down, and he said, "Hmm. My tummy don't hwurt anymo'ore, Mommy. My tummy feels all better now!" And, off he went to play completely unphased by the entire thing. Of course, Joshua was phased by it, and whenever JCT got within 2 feet of him, he would yell, "Stay away from me!!!!!! YOU ARE SICK!!!! Get away!!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA GET SICK" And, then Joshua would run and hide from JCT. It is that selfless love we preach at our house coming out in trying times, you know?


Erik left for a high school basketball game, and I put Elijah to bed. I was actually hoping that this might be just a fluke emesis, a lone vomiting. I got the big boys upstairs and in bed. I left a bowl beside JCT's trundle bed, and told him to throw up in it if he felt sick again. After prayers and songs, I headed downstairs to relax and sterilize myself. But, a few minutes later, I heard Joshua crying on the monitior. "Not him, too, " I thought, and as fast as lightening I ran up the stairs.


What did I find?


I found Joshua sitting up in bed crying, and JCT curled up on his bed trying to sleep.


"Joshua, what is it?" I asked.

"JCT threw up!" Joshua cried to me.


Then, JCT sat up, perky I might add, and said with great pride, "Yeah, Mommy, I throwed up in dat bowl jus' like you tole me to!"


Oh, good. I checked the bowl, and sure enough a deposit had been made. At this point I thought JCT could not possibly be flesh of my flesh because he was handling this throwing up thing WAY too well. He didn't even need me.


So, I picked him up, took him to the bathroom and cleaned him off. Joshua followed us. After I finished cleaning JCT up, I noticed that he was unusually quiet. I asked him if he felt sick again, and he said yes. And, before I could get him to the toliet, he began again. As I told Erik, the poor child vomited like a grown man, huge amounts and with great force. All the while, Joshua is standing in the hall, crying. Except to say, crying, wouldn't do his response justice. He was wailing. You know when the Bible talks about, "and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth," yeah, that is more like what I heard as I held my little bear over the toliet. But, JCT, amazingly, remained completely unphased by it all - even with all his big brother's drama. Once again afterward he remarked that his tummy felt better, and this time he added that he wanted to go to sleep. So, after a little cleaning, I put them both back to bed.


Erik came home, and we went to bed. After a couple of false alarms and one more large deposit in the bedside bowl, I decided that I better sleep upstairs. I made a bed beside JCT's trundle, and the little guy has been fine ever since. I woke up to a home filled with the lovely aroma of Lysol and a little boy whispering, "Mommy, I'm tirsty. Can I have sometin' to dwink?"

His big brother still won't come within 2 feet of him, but other than that JCT's little life seems to be back to normal. Oh, and there is the fact that I won't let him kiss Elijah. And, this has been more tramatic to JCT than the projectile vomiting episodes of last night. Go figure?

Now that things have calmed down, and everyone is well, at least for the time being, my thoughts are beginning to float back to the little one inside of my belly. The little one who became real to us yesterday! We are so busy with the big boys that it was fun to focus on the new one for a little bit. I'll never forget the smile on Erik's face and the joy in his voice when he looked at the US screen and then at me and said with astonishment, "There is a little baby moving around inside of you!"

Unimaginable.

Thank You, Jesus.