September the 11th

Growing up I remember hearing adults over and over again discuss where they were when they heard that JFK had been shot. It was, indeed, a shock that changed the nation in just a matter of seconds. I believe that in the same way my generation will always desire to tell the story of where we were when the planes hit the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the sweet soil of Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001. A powerful day for us as a nation and as individuals. So many lives lost so quickly. . . An evil I don't think my mind will ever be able to wrap itself around. . . I hope I never understand that kind of evil. It was a tragedy without comparison. . .

When I woke up on September the 11th 2001, my mind was on one thing. That date has always been significant in my family, and this year it was especially significant. My father was turning 60 that day. I'll never forget the phone call from my mother when she explained to me what was happening. I turned on the TV only to see the second tower be hit by a large plane. And, it was at that moment that the numbness began. I'm not sure when it wore off. . . I was numb with fear with shock and horror. I think I had always assumed somehow that we as a nation were invinsible. And, here we were as a nation - afraid. What was going to happen next? the White House? Were they going to take down Air Force One? I knew that life would never be the same. It was as if, for me anyway, a new kind of evil had entered our peaceful society. We had always known there was evil out there, those who didn't like America, but we had somehow managed to keep our lives separate, safe, and secure. But, that day everything changed in a matter of a few hours. . .

I remember walking my dog with my husband that night. The night seemed frighteningly silent. As we walked along, my eyes were drawn to the dark beautiful sky filled with twinkling stars but completely void of the flashing lights of aircrafts. It made me realize how much a part of a normal night sky those flashing airplane lights are. I hadn't really noticed them until they were gone, and the night sky seemed lonely without them. When we went to bed that night, it was the first time I ever remember going to bed afraid. I couldn't sleep. I saw images of the twin towers in my head. What would happen during the night? Was it over? It was a long night full of uncertainty.

But, thankfully, fear was not the only emotion that stirred our souls that day. Selflessness and heroism reigned on this tragic day. Obviously Todd Beamer and flight 93 is the first to come to mind. I have always found it interesting and so very like God to allow their plane to crash into an open field killing no one on the ground. They could have landed in a city or a small town, but instead it was that sweet Pennsylvania pastureland that accepted the sacrifice of those brave men. Beautiful, truly selfless and beautiful. And, then, of course there are the heroes of New York. The brave firefighters and policemen who in doing their duties sacrificed so much. . . their own fears, sleep, comfort, and many sacrificed their lives. So, in as a much as it was a horribly sad day, it was also a day full of acts of rare selflessness that we don't often have the opportunity of witnessing. And, that was a bright shining light on a very dark day.

So, today, five years later, I sat in front of the TV and took it all in again. I felt the emotions of that day all over again. I am so thankful to relive it. I don't want to forget. Ever. As I watched my boys playing this morning, I thought of the day when I will share with them where I was on September 11, 2001. I will probably tell them the same story every year on Sept. 11th. And, they may tire of hearing it, but they will know what happened that day and the impression it made on me and our country. I will make sure of that.