The Preschool Jitters

And, I am not just talking about Joshua. Mommy has been a bit jittery herself.

Whew! We made it through the first day! My stomach has been in knots all weekend. But, we did it. . . I mean he did it!!

And, he didn't shed one single tear!

And, I think he may have actually enjoyed himself!!

Last night, as I was tucking my little man in, we had an interesting little conversation. . .

J: Mommy, I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Me: Baby, it will be fun! This is something to look forward to, something to be excited about!

J: One day I will go away to school. One day I will leave Frankie (Joshua's name for our home.)

Me: Yes, baby, but that will not be for a long time. We don't need to worry about that yet.

J: But, I don't want to leave Frankie.

Me: It isn't time for you to leave Frankie. When it is time, you will be ready. Don't worry about that now. It will be a long time from now.

J: Mommy, you had another house, and you left that house to live here. And, I will leave this house for my own house one day when I have a wife.

Me: Yes, but that will not be for a long time.

J: And, I will come and visit you like Grandma and Pop come and visit and then they leave and say goodbye. I will visit Frankie like that and then leave and say goodbye. Then, I will go to my house.

Me, not liking this conversation: Yes, but not for a long time.

J - panic setting in: But, mommy, what if I can't find your house? What if I want to come and visit, but I can't find where you live?

Me: You will always know how to get to our house. You will always know how to come home.

J- more panic setting in: But, but how do I get there? Do. . . do I just go straight and then turn. . . or how do I get there?

Me not believing that I am having this conversation: I don't know yet. But, when it is time you will know how to get home. You will always know how to get home, and you can come home whenever you want. Okay?

J: But, I will not drive Vannie (Joshua's name for my car) or Vackie (Joshua's name for Erik's car). I will have my own car.

Me: Yes.

J more panic setting in: But, what will I name my car? I don't know what to name my car.

Me attempting to calm him down: It is okay. You don't have to know what to name your car today. You don't have a car. Don't worry. By the time you are old enough to have a car, you will know exactly what to name your car. Let's just focus on your first day of Preschool tomorrow. I am going to make you blueberry muffins and after school we will go out for Pizza to talk about all the fun things you did. Okay?

J: Okay. But, I need to give you a hug.

Me: Oh, yes, please do give me a hug. (Lord knows I needed a hug after that conversation!)

The whole conversation gave me a little insight into 2 things. #1 Joshua is even more like his mother than we thought. And, #2, this must be how God, Erik, and my mom feel when I come to them in panic mode about things that may or may not take place 20 years from now. It made me realize how silly so many of my fears are. I need only worry about today. After all, today has enough trouble of its own. Now back to the real story. . .

He woke up reluctant to go. But, then an interesting thing happened. JCT figured out what was going on, and he wasn't so sure about it. "I wanna go school, too. Can I go, too, Mommy."

"No, Baby, you aren't quite old enough yet."

"I wanna go school, too."

And with that, something shifted in Joshua's brain. He got to do something JCT wanted to do but could not do, and he liked that. So, without further resistance, Joshua headed out of Vannie's door, kissed his Mommy's lips, grabbed his Daddy's hand, walked into school, and didn't look back.

There was an eerie silence for a few moments when we returned home. But, it didn't take long for JCT's chatter to fill the house. And, do you think he missed his brother?

I'm not so sure.

I think he rather enjoyed having free reign of the toys and Mommy at his beck and call.