Raising Little Warriors

Where, oh, where do I begin? I am reading Hinds Feet in High Places for the second time in my life, and I love it. Perhaps, I love it so much because I can so relate to this little fearling. I may well have been named Much Afraid because fear and worry have been the two sins that have plagued me my entire life. I am in constant prayer about these two areas of my life and am always seeking to grow out of them spiritually. Though progress has been made over the years, I am still very much afraid of many things. Take for instance when I found out that Joshua was going to be a boy. One of the first thoughts that went through my mind was, "Oh, no! Since he is a boy, he may have to go to war one day! And, I don't think I could bear that. . ." Immediately, my anxious mind went to the fear of losing him in a battle of sorts. Why, I ask, would God call a Much Afraid to rear 3 boys? After all, boys are supposed to be bold and brave. I am, most often, weak and scared.

So, last night after I finished all that I had to do around the house, I sat down on the ottoman of Erik's chair. He was reading a book that a good friend gave him for Christmas - The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge. Erik loves all of Eldredge's books, and this one is no different. When I sat down, he lay his book in his lap. I unloaded a few fears that I was having about my Joshua. Joshua has been having some silly fears lately - wonder where he gets that?

I shared this example with Erik. . . That night, after I had finished bathing Joshua and JCT, I left them alone in the tub for a second with the water running. I simply went across the hall to get their pjs and came quickly back. Much to my surprise, when I returned Joshua was in tears. He was afraid that the water was going to overflow while I was gone. Let me preface this by saying that this was not the first irrational fear he had had this day, and I was getting tired of them and the tears they produced. Anyway, back to my response. . . My mom was saved in the charismatic movement. And, though I was raised in a Baptist church, her Charisma would occasionally come out. And, this night it came out in me. I looked intently at Joshua and in a loud voice I said, "In the name of Jesus, you will not be afraid." It makes me laugh now just typing it. I continued, "You are Joshua. You are strong and courageous. You will not be terrified for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Repeat that after me." So, he repeated it with me. Then I kept on, "God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love and self-discipline!!!! Repeat that." He repeated it, his tears subsided, and I turned the water off.

So, back to the real story. I was sharing all this with Erik who was listening intently. After I placed all my fears about my son on the ottoman before him, his response was, "Let me tell you about this book I am reading. . ." And, he began to share with me some interesting information. He began telling me how Eldredge labels the phases of a man's life this way - first, he is the beloved son; second, he is the cowboy/ranger; third, he is the warrior/lover; and fourth and finally, he is the king. I laughed and asked Erik if he was now in the king stage. "No, I am still in the warrior/lover stage. My dad is in the king stage." This is how I grasped what he said, and I hope that I understood it correctly. The beloved son is the stage where they are just loved and adored for who they are, our sweet boys. Then, they begin risk-taking activities. This is the cowboy/ranger stage. The warrior/lover stage is when they are married and going out into the world. Erik explained that he is a warrior at work - conquering obstacles, having successes, etc. And, the king stage is when they are older and their biggest calling in life is imparting wisdom to those who are younger. But, Erik explained men should be a mixture of all of these stages all the time.

Somehow hearing words like warrior and risk-taking and seeing my sweet sons' pictures hanging on the wall behind my husband's chair was hard for me. Because, you see, I would like to keep them under my wings and shelter them all their days. I know that if my husband was put to the test (a burning building, saving a child, etc.) he would lay his life down for another. That is the man he is. He wouldn't give it a second thought. And, that is one of the reasons that I fell in love with him. I am to raise courageous young men like this. Men who are selfless and sacrificial, men who would lay down their lives for others without a thought of themselves. This is what it means to raise them to be like Christ.

Then, Eldredge describes 3 types of Bravery. The first being physical bravery. This is the soldier on the battlefield. This is the fireman running into the World Trade Center when everyone else is running out. The second is emotional bravery. This is taking a stand, risking rejection, risking embarrasment. The big thing here is teaching our sons not to quit, teaching them to rise above setbacks. And, the third is spiritual bravery. This is risks of faith, martyrdom, etc.

So, how do we raise our sweet sons to be brave warriors one day? Eldredge says it begins with things like challenging them to be risky in their prayer life. Risking to ask God for something in prayer. If God does not answer, our sons are taught to perservere and not give up. This quote hugely spoke to me about my Joshua. . . Eldredge said, "Developing a brave heart comes down to this - wherever the boy is frightened, wherever you see a hesitancy or uncertainty in him, gently take him there, over time, and help him conquer his fear. . . That is the place you want to lead your son to. And that is the place we want to come to ourselves, as we learn to press through our own fears. I believe it is why God continues to take us into situations that arouse fear in us. The enemy would say we've blown it, or that we've been abandoned; the Father says, 'You can do this - play the man.' This is how courage is developed." Imagine that. . . He didn't say anything about rebuking fear in the name of Jesus and yelling scripture at them! I guess I have a lot to learn.

And, this very tender mother's heart listened as my husband shared his heart and his goals for our boys. Purposeful. It has been a key word to me lately. I don't want to go through the motions parentingwise. I want to be purposeful in all I do as I rear these little guys to be Godly men. As I listened to Erik my eyes went back and forth from the picture of Joshua to the picture of JCT. I prayed for them in ways unique to each of them. And, my eyes traced every curve of their soft sweet faces, my baby boys. And, they are still very much under my wings and will stay there for a little while longer. But, not forever, no, I will purposefully rear them to go out and be warriors. And, if that means going across the world to fight in a war, if God has called and purposed them to do that, then I will have them as prepared as I possibly can to lay down their lives for another human being, for a cause that is bigger than themselves, and most importantly for their faith. Whether their battlfield is literal or figurative, I pray that they will be brave warriors and go forward, facing fears head-on. I cannot hold them back, as tempting as that is. After all, they are not mine to begin with. They are God's little warriors. And, for some reason, completely incomprehensible to me, He has blessed me with the great honor and privilige of birthing them, holding them, loving them, raising them, and ultimately of letting them go to be the brave warriors He called them to be for His glory alone. Oh, that God would give this Much Afraid the courage and wisdom to rear them in this way.