All three of my boys are going through some sort of separation anxiety stage right now. Elijah is going through the normal - I am a nursed baby and there is only one who can fill my needs. Everyone else is a poor substitute. JCT has recently started crying when we drop him off at the church nursery. Why? I have no idea. I didn't see this one coming. He has always been my super independent son, and, also, the one I worry about the least. He usually just handles things, but lately he has been clingy. And, when he cries, it isn't the sweet silent tears of his older brother. No. He is my little fighter. So, you can use your imagination. And, Joshua, well, basically it is the same old same old with him. He doesn't want to go to school, but this past Wednesday evening he didn't want to go to church! What is going on? They are acting like our family has gone through some sort of traumatic event - a death, a move, something. But, nothing has changed. Believe me, I have analyzed it for days. Nothing has changed.
Joshua's separation anxiety bothers me the most. He has been going to preschool for months now, and he still doesn't like it. I felt sure we'd be through this by now. I was pouring my heart out to my mother about all this last night, and I received this email from her today. . . It was so encouraging, and I wanted to keep it for Joshua when he gets older. My mom travels for Kay Arthur's ministry (Precept). She is always challenging and encouraging me - not with her own words, but rather with His words. I am so thankful for her! So, without further ado. . .
"Listening to When I am with You from the Glorious CD.... that is one of my favorite songs on the CD. Listen to it and tell me what you think. When Daddy isn't around I listen to it, with my hands raised and just LOVE how it ministers to me.
Now, about sweet Joshua!!! Been praying. AND you are NOT doing anything wrong. He is a sweet sensitive child and will be an amazing young man... just wait and see. He is just in process. Learning all that God has for him to learn at his pace. Also have been learning in Judges that God left the enemy in the land to test Israel and to teach them war..... And translated to today could be every day is warfare, too... and the best weapon we have is the Sword of the Spirit... the Word of God. sooooo we gotta use it. Some scriptures will appear below... but also I am reminded that with Gideon (who was very fearful due to what was going on with Israel at the time... oh, so for today) yet God called him... Valiant Warrior. or literally, Mighty Man of Valor. And after God moved in his life that is exactly what he was. BUT he wasn't that the first day that God called him.... it took the angel of the Lord making his meal toast.... fleeces.... overhearing the enemy's fear.... and recognizing that God was truly who He said He was AND would win the battle for Israel. And God said... Peace... and don't be afraid... and Gideon made an altar and called it the Lord is Peace... Jehovah Shalom. GLORY!!!!!! In those chapters (6-8) there are several places where it says God is with you... and one place after it says that it says that Gideon is to go "in this your strength".. I love that. Go in the strength that is yours because He is with you.... opps... guess what Immanuel is now not only God with us.... He is God in us.... John 14. Sooooo fear can be turned to faith in us and in Joshua.... He just needs to experience God in that as he grows.... and in us as we minister to him from love and faith not fear. Was that a lot of words that I "vomited" and they didn't make any sense.
Here are some verses that God brought to me... Matt1:23 Immanuel.. God with us! Ps 34... all of it is great... but v. 4 says.. I sought the LORD and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Ps 27:1 The Lord is my Light and my Salvations ... Whom shall I fear... The LORD is the defense of my life... Whom shall I dread...
1 John 4:18... perfect love casts out fear. FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real....
outta here.... loving you and praying for you... and recognizing that God is working and will work and will bring you and Joshua and JCT and Erik and Elijah to completion ... He is faithful who promised and He will indeed do it.
NOW I KNOW THAT WAS TOO MANY WORDS!!!! Yikes... will send but you can delete at will.... you are loved... and loved and loved... and prayed for, too.
mommy"
Umm. . . Delete it?
Never.
Thanks Mommy! Love you!
Isn't it so wonderful that God doesn't see us as we are, but instead He sees us as we will be! When the angel of the Lord came to Gideon, he was full of fear and doubt, but God called him a mighty man of valor. Thank you, Jesus!
And, isn't it a great reminder for Joshua as he walks into school each morning that his strength does not come from within himself? His strength does not come from a strong will, a strong body, a strong personality, a strong mind, or a strong following, but rather, his strength comes from the fact that He is not alone. In "this" your strength, our strength has nothing to do with "us" but rather with "Who" lives inside us. I love that!
In this your strength, my Joshua, my little mighty man of Valor, your strength lies in the One Who lives in you. And, there is not a doubt in my mind that He has great plans for you, my little warrior.
And, to my internet friends. . .
Go, in this your strength - that the God of all creation is with you.
6 comments:
Erin- my little guy (age 5) does this at SS almost every Sunday and it was absolutely out of the blue and after years of never crying. We are part of a very small church plant and so we really *know* everybody. I homeschool and so I have wondered if it is because he is with me all the time... but I know that is not true.
He did attend preschool last year (3-year old class) and did have a crying jag for a bit.
Absolutely tore me up. I could have pulled him out but I didn't want to encourage his fear or anxiety. I did offer some incentives for getting through the drop-off period, like Slurpees after school or a trip to the park.
Bribery? Sure. But it certainly helped us over the hump and helped him to focus on something other than the separation. Reciting scipture (I can do all things...) is always a wonderful encouragment, even when they are so small.
My girls are 10 & 12 and they attended public school for most of their lives and each of them struggled with this and often for no apparent reason. You have created such a loving and nurturing environment for your little guys they just don't want to part from it :)
Your mother gave you such priceless and loving advice. What a sweet blessing!
Tears formed as I read this. I have some very personal battles I am in the middle of. How this word of encouragement helped to bolster my strength and spirit!
Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing these blessed words of encouragement!!
WOW - this is wonderful and SO ministered to my heart! I am struggling too and I SO often forget to use the Sword of the Spirit - thank you and thank your mom for such a wonderful, encouraging reminder! Sunshine
What an encouraging post. Thank you Erin for always sharing from your heart.
I found your blog a while back through your friend at "In the Midst of It", and I just love it! Thank you for sharing your mother's beautiful words to you. I also have 3 small ones, and know all too well how you are feeling.:) What a blessing to have a mom who will pray for you and encourage you with God's Word. (I know, because I have one too!) :) I hope you don't mind me eavesdropping every now and then!
Seconding what your wise mama said :)
And having known you for the last 12 years, and knowing Erik and his wonderful family, I have full assurance that your little boy is going to be quite an amazing young man. He'll get better at separating, and that'll make you sad, too! These boys know how to steal their mamas' hearts, don't they?
Praying for you today :)
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