Your comments, a few reflections, and my new theme song

It is a cold rainy day outside, but inside my home is filled with sunshine and laughter - at the moment, anyway. All is well and I have a cup of hot coffee sitting beside me beckoning me to stop mid-sentence and sip of it's rich flavor! (Coffee tastes good to me today. Go figure?) One big hot gulp later, I am smiling here as I listen to Fernando Ortega sing soft, soothing songs to me.

I was just sitting back reflecting on all the sweet and encouraging comments that you all left on my blog yesterday. I appreciate every single one of them. Especially the ones coming from mothers of 4 or more children close together. And, I received a sweet comment from ck that said basically (my paraphrase), "I was one of 4 children all close together in age. I don't know how it was for my mom, but we, kids, had a great time growing up together." I LOVE to hear that! It makes my heart sing!



This morning Joshua left early for school. (Erik takes him.) JCT and I were enjoying a quiet morning together while Elijah slept in. I actually found myself thinking, "Wow, this is so nice and quiet, just me and JCT." But, it wasn't long before I heard some sweet baby chatter on the monitor, and I sighed a, it was nice while it lasted, kind of sigh. Upon entering the room, Elijah's eyes met mine and his face was aglow with a radiant happiness. The kind of happiness that is contagious to all who witness it, and I was instantly ashamed of my previous thoughts. I picked him up, and he nearly jumped out of my arms in excitement. He could hear his big brother playing in the next room, and he simply longed with all that was in him to see his big brother. He pulled outward until I turned him around so he could face out. Then, with his head and the kicking of his legs, he led me to the family room where JCT was making all sorts of loud dinosaur noises. And, when Elijah's eyes finally found JCT, he kicked and squealed and went crazy with excitement. I attempted to nurse Elijah, but between JCT grabbing his head and singing "Jesus luvs Elijah, this I know fo da Bible tells me so. . ." and Elijah's lack of interest in eating, I gave up and put them together in the superyard on the family room floor - where they laughed and played together for quite some time. It it times like these when ck's comment comes back to me, "I don't know how it was for my mom. But, we, kids, had a great time growing up together." I pray that their growing up years will be filled with laughter, fun, and wonderful memories. Memories of 2 on 2 basketball games in the driveway, football games in the front yard, volleyball games in the pool, kickball, make-believe track races, sleeping in tents in the backyard with Daddy (notice I opted out on that one), movie nights for the whole family, cook-outs, and cookie baking with Mama. And, if that is the case, if they do have a memory full of richness and love, then, it will be worth any stress or strain that 4 children 5 and under will be on me. I'm embracing it!



Yesterday, as I drove home from Super-Wal-mart, all three children snug in their carseats. Well, to be honest one was screaming, and my nerves were shot. It was a wild trip to the place my non-cursing, godly, deacon of a husband, refers to as "hell." And, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think about that several times as I made my way around that over-crowded, unfriendly customer-filled, germ-ridden place. If you are ever feeling like you have it all together and you are a wonderful mom, take your kids to Wal-Mart in the middle of the afternoon. It is sure to humble you. . . quickly.

I digress. . . As I drove home, the boys asked to watch the new Veggie tales - Pirates Who Don't Do Anything Sing-a-long DVD. And, midway through the DVD I heard a song that really appealed to me where I am right now. It is by Mandisa, and it is called, "I can do the right thing." The reason it appeals to me is because I really struggle with believing that I can do it. "It" being - me truly being the mother God called me to be. Somedays it just seems like too much. When my nerves are shot by 10:00 a.m., I know the day is going to be long, and I simply cannot do it on my own strength. So, often I hear these words in my head, "I can't do this. I just cannot do this." I want to be someone my boys look up to, but somedays it is really easy to get frustrated and lose my temper. One day I will write a post about how much my boys have changed me. I am truly a different person because of the refining God has done on my soul through these precious little fellows. Just one more reason for me to love them to pieces! Back to the song by Mandisa, I am going to post the words because they really spoke to me. Not that I see myself as a hero, but that is what the pirate movie is about - stepping up and being the hero God called you to be.

"I can do the right thing"

I've got all my excuses.

I've got my list of fears.

I've counted all the reasons why You called the wrong hero to be here.

Doing the right thing is just too hard.

But, I've believed those lies for long enough.

I'm not going to listen anymore because I remember You said

when all hope is gone, help will come. . .

And, give me strength to go farther, to climb higher,

courage that burns inside like a fire.

No turning back, this is the day I do the right thing.

I will do what I need to and when I need You

I know Your love will come to the rescue.

I can do the right thing.

So what if I'm not the strongest.

A little weaker than I'd like to be.

Well, even I can do what's right because I know

the King is calling me to live a life worth looking up to.

Holding on to what matters most.

Nobody said it was going to be easy.

But, I know I'll never be alone,

Cause when all hope is gone help will come, come from above. . .

And, give me the strength to go farther, to climb higher,

courage that burns inside like a fire.

No turning back, this is the day.

I will do what I need to and when I need You

I know Your love will come to the rescue.

Love that! And, I am claiming this as my current theme song because we all need theme songs every now and then. So, whatever you are facing, may God give you the courage and the strength you need to be the "hero" in the story that is your life.

Oh, and one last note, this is for "manda." I tried to connect with you after I read your comment, but blogger would not let me access your profile. Your comment really touched me, and I wanted to be able to touch base with you. If you ever come back to my site, let me know how I can connect with you. Know that I have been praying for you. I have such a heart for new moms and such a love for all things pregnancy related!! You are truly in for a treat, sweet girl, a big wonderful blessing of a treat straight from the hands of a loving God.