Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring in My Heart!

I just made my last cup of afternoon coffee for a while. As much as I love a hot cup of coffee, something just isn't right about sipping a steaming beverage when the sun is happily shining and the air is warm. I'll have to exchange Bifferdoodle for Lemonade and ice cold sweet tea!

But, more than the weather is changing. There has been a change welling up within me for some time now. And, throughout the fall and winter I have wrestled with God and with myself. I have some days been at peace, and some days felt the condemning cold of failure ~ or worse, maybe, the fear of failure. There have been a variety of difficult decisions to make. There have been hard conversations to have and the threat of rejection and being misunderstood. I have been confronted by one friend and encouraged by another. And, many a night I have lay in my bed wide awake with a heart drowning in what ifs. I have struggled and smiled ~ depending on the day. The joys of being a woman in turmoil.

I feel the winds of change blowing through me. Walking with God is an awesome adventure ~ never boring, and always unsuspecting. Yesterday, I was a bit hopeless. But, today spring is calling me, and I feel the confidence and freedom that only the Spirit brings. Today feels like the dawn of spring in my heart, and I am thanking God for never failing to bring His peace in so many sweet and unique ways!


deana b said...

I'll provide the fenced in back yard (in which no one can escape). You bring the lemonade and we will sit, sip, soak up our vitamin D and let the squeals of happy kids on the swingset fade into the background. Thankful that you are more at peace now.

Kim said...

No matter what direction you turn ... He is always there. Isn't that such a beautiful comfort? :)

Blessings Erin! Your posts always make my heart smile :)

Allison said...

Beautifully written. I come here often and came from In the Midst of It. Your family is beautiful and I can so relate with what you have written today. Thank you for sharing your heart today.

crmercer said...

I've been reading your blog for 2 years. You are an inspiration and your posts are always heartwarming and thought provoking for me. I can definitely relate to your enjoyment of a cold afternoon and coffee. A little piece of heaven on earth. Especially knowing your little ones are tucked away in a nap.

I will be praying for your difficult time. You are a blessing to your family!

Monkey Momma said...

Funny that I read this today. I've been feeling winds of change for my life for awhile as well. Spring cleaning is desperately needed, not in my home (okay, well there too), but my soul. For a while, I've felt the cold of failure...but today there is spring in my spirit as well. It's a nice change.

I read something today about it feeling like Butterflies when the Holy Spirit speaks to you. That's how I feel today. I hope it's not just indigestion. I need speaking to, if you know what I mean.

Kelly said...

You have such an amazing way of getting to the heart of your spirit. This resonates with me so much, and encourages me, as I have been feeling similarly this winter. God is stretching me, and perhaps winds of change are going to blow through my life, too. Whatever He has been preparing me for, I will be ready with Him in charge.

I agree with Kim... "your posts always make my heart smile"!

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Hi! I live in a sweet country home overflowing with love, laughter, and little ones. I have been blessed to journey these days beside a man that I love, respect, and admire. He is my soul-mate and best friend. Together we are seeking to raise our seven children to be lovers of God, to be wise and discerning, and to be all that our sweet God created them to be. I am in the goldfish and cheerio stage of life, but I am keenly aware that these days are slipping right through my hands. This blog is my attempt to keep our memories safe for years to come.


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