Ahhhh, the good old days when we were in our home - simply living a "normal" life.
I had a bit of break down yesterday. Just a little one. I sat down in the middle of the living room floor (at the rent house) and cried. This was not a good idea because it made my 21 month old cry, too. All I could think was, "I just want to go home. I miss Rain (our weimeraner) and our old calm life." So, I had to pull myself together, gather juice, snacks, a good DVD, my keys, my cell phone, and put the boys in the car for a little ride to clear my head. I called Jen and vented a little. Then, I got drive-thru dinner for the family. We ate and went to church.
Before church I attempted venting to my ever-optimistic husband. "It is so hard meeting with carpet, tile, and cabinet men while trying to contain 2 little ones. Not to mention, picking out light fixtures, paint colors, molding, etc. I feel like I am failing as a mom, etc." and on and on I vented to him. And, he just looked at me with a blank expression that said, "Of course it is hard. We knew it would be, but it'll be worth it. Just keep going. One more month, you can make it. No biggie. . ."
Uggh. I know he's right, but still. . .
And, as this long day came to a close, I got a magazine and began doing my homework - looking at mantles and shutters. I was still missing home and feeling just a bit sorry for myself.
And, this is when it happened.
I felt it.
Just barely a little something in my lower tummy.
Could it be?
After all, I am almost 16 weeks pregnant. I think it was. That little tickle reminded me that there is something alive in there. And, as vital as this renovation seems at present, something much more vital resides within me. I said a little prayer of thanks for this little life. And, the reminder that it is of good - no great - things to come.
16 comments:
I know how you feel....we built our home 5 years ago,when my bigger girls were 5 and 7. We lived in a rent house,too....I know what you are saying.....building a house is a chore,a bit overwhelming at times...but your husband is right. It will be worth it and this will be your HOME one day!
Yes,God's blessings of children are so great! Congrats on your new little one growing inside you. I miss that! Our new baby girl is coming from China-so it is a different kind of pregnancy...a paper pregnancy as some call it. Enjoy this time as God blesses you with a new home and new life. I added you to my blogroll...is that okay? I love your website and feel a kindred spirit with you already! God bless you today!
Oh, I don't think I remembered you were pregnant. Me too, although I'm only like 5 weeks. :) Congrats
I'm so glad this post had a happy ending Erin. I just spent the morning looking for a place to rent while we have our new home built. I was beginning to feel a bit discouraged (why is it nothing is as easy as you think it will be?) - and then I read your post. And I felt all you were feeling - and we haven't even begun yet.
However, I too, have gotten a bit of perspective (not a sweet little baby to anticipate - I am, after all a grandma); we have been praying for two years that this house would sell. We have five of the most beautiful acres imaginable waiting for a new house. I am so blessed. We are so blessed.
P.S. I think it's perfectly all right to sit in the middle of the floor and cry once in a while. I, in fact, am planning on doing that at least once in the next 6 - 8 months :)
Oh, hang in there! We renovated our kitchen and added on a room last year at this exact time. We did not move, but there were many days, of trying to feed 3 small children without a kitchen and washing trays and sippy cups by hand in the bathroom or laundry room that I thought WHY??? I am soooo thankful we did it! Hang in there!
P.S. So exciting that your little one chose today to move....already an encourager!
(((hugs))) I can't imagine how homesick you must be, especially with the holidays approaching. It is no fun to be on extended vacation that is not vacation! My little guy was looking over my shoulder and saw the photo of your little guy and his "pillow" and he asked, "Who's that - I like him." Aren't children just so open to the possibilities?
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the changes you're going through while being pregnant, nonetheless. Think of the hormones that are involved in some of those feelings!! I'm thinking of you!
And congrats on the movement!! That is amazing and I am SO thankful for each one I'm currently experience.
Thanks for the perspective this post brings!! And praying you are on the other side of the housing thing.... soon.
AWWWW, the baby moved.... I LOVE THAT.... gives me chills. What a blessing that God energized him/her just when you needed it.... that's so like Him.
Hang in there with the renovation... no matter whether they're on a house or on a heart, they are ALWAYS tiring and time-consuming and emotional. So many changes. But the great thing is that they are ALWAYS worth it in the end... just gotta stick it out.
Love and hugs to you,
calissa
You will be so thankful when it is done. Until then, enjoy the thought of that little baby growing inside. :)
In regards to your weird 9, my husband NEVER finishes a drink either. He thinks the bottom is gross. However he leaves the 1/4 bottom for me in the fridge. So I can see where you are coming from.
I can't even imagine trying to renovate a home and living in a rent house with two kids and another on the way. You're my hero. And yes, you'll look back and it will be a little blip on the radar.
Feeling the baby move has to be one of the best feelings in the world.
I know how you feel, Erin. When Emma was 13 months, we were having our home built and lived in an apartment for 5 months. We only had half of our things, with the other half in storage. I was miserable and felt so displaced. I felt terrible for complaining about it, but I just wanted some normalcy. I completely understand how you feel.
That's so great that God gave you some reassurance just at the right time with the baby. Precious times!
This is the exact reason why God gave us girlfriends--husbands are terrible at sympathetic venting! Bridget and I have weekly vents, because Dan and Chris just don't get it! Good for Jen for being your ear!
And although I've never renovated, I have had a house on the market for 9 months with both pregnancy and three kids, so you can call me anytime and vent:)
I will be your encourager here. After 8 months of renovating, we finally moved the Monday before Ivey's surgery. You need to vent... I am one step away. The husbands just don't get it. Just hurry the renovation before the nesting phase begins! Yikes.
A wonderful fairytale ending.
Just thinking about you today and wanted to tell you so.
i love it when the baby starts moving. that's just the best part.
building a house is such a long, hard process. will you be in it before the baby is born?
i loved the picture with the dog. so cute!
my SIL is coming here on Thursday..... and that made me think of your SIL. How is Cecilia doing?
Post a Comment