Not According to Plan. . .

Why me? Why today?

This was not the day that I planned. And, I like to plan my days. . . to the most minutest of details.

I woke up ready to conquer the world ~ so to speak, anyway. But, it was quite short lived, I assure you. By 8:30 I had three boys dressed and ready to go run a few errands in the lovely town 30 minutes from our home. We piled in our van and headed that way. . .

The plan for my day was this. . .

8:30 - 9:00 - DRIVE

9:00 - 9:15 - Exchange the cute Keen sandels that Erik got JCT in a size too small at a little outdoors store that supposedly opens at 9:00.

9:15- 9:30 - Run in Lowes to get one quick item.

9:30 - 10: 30 - Do weekly Super Wal-mart trip.

10:30-11:00 - Drive home; Elijah take quick morning nap while we drive.

11:00-11:30 - Unload groceries, put away, change clothes, and get ready to go to baby shower at Erik & Sean's office (for their sweet little x-ray girl, B.).

11:30 - 1:00 - Load boys in van and head to Erik's office for shower.

1:00 - 3:00 - Go home, boys down for good long afternoon naps.

3:00 - 6:00 - Boys play with Daddy, Mommy loves life, and dinner for boys.

6:00 - 9:00 - Parent's Night Out at church; drop boys off and ENJOY AN EVENING ALONE WITH MY DARLING HUSBAND WHO I LOVE!!! Eat a meal and relax ~ no one to take care of but myself - no bottoms to wipe, diapers to change, food to cut up, etc.

Reality Check ~ here goes. . .

9:00 - store not open. I waited a few minutes and no one came, so I opted to return after the Wal-mart trip rather than waste anymore time waiting.

I headed to Lowe's. The Lowe's trip went well complete with doting older people to occupy my sons while I checked out.

Then, we went to hades, I mean, Super Wal-Mart where all that can go wrong ~ will go wrong.

The trip began with a bad cart. Why do I always get the most difficult carts to manuever? It never fails, and I don't realize it until I turn my first corner and by that time I am way too far gone to turn back.

So, I continued with my difficult cart. . . There were the usual inconveniences ~ people moving much too slowly, carts abandoned in the middle of aisles, etc. But, my head was up and my game face was on ~ I was ready and smiling. I was chattering on to JCT, patting Joshua on the head, and kissing Elijah's sweet forehead as we shopped. The day was bright and full of promise. . .

But, somewhere in the dairy section things went awry. JCT coughed. I asked him if he was okay, and when he didn't answer, I went to the back of the cart to put my hands on him. He continued coughing, and coughing, and before I knew it I was looking at everything that he ate for dinner last night and breakfast this morning in a puddle on the floor. All I could think is, "This is not happening. Lord, tell me this is not happening. Not in Wal-Mart. Not today. Not the stomach virus."

Oh, but it was happening. The odor coming from the puddle more than confirmed it. Reality. I don't want to do the stomach virus again. I don't.


And so, I stood there in the dairy section with a dazed and confused look on my face (complete with jaw dropped), not having a clue what to do next. Thankfully, JCT woke me from my stupor by saying, "Will somebody please wipe this stuff off of me!!"

And, I assumed that somebody should probably be me. I'm not sure the Wal-Mart employees would volunteer to go above and beyond and clean up my son, too. So, I got out my lifesavers, a.k.a. baby wipes, and began cleaning him up, along with a box of diapers and a few other groceries that he christened. And, as I was cleaning up my son's emesis with the few baby wipes I possessed, the other happy Wal-Mart shoppers were glancing at me, my son, his puddle, and holding their breath, crinkling their nose, and reaching with long Stretch Armstrong like arms for the items near us that they needed. I swear, they looked at us like we were the filth of the earth. And, honestly, standing in Wal-Mart with vomit on my shoe, groceries, and son, I pretty much felt like the filth of the earth. It was lovely. Truly lovely.

I alerted the Wal-Mart officials, and headed for the nearest and shortest check out line. I wanted OUT and NOW! And, as I pushed my stuborn cart to the front of the store, I was being lectured by my 5 year old son. "This is all because you made him eat all his dinner last night. That is why he threw up. If you wouldn't make us eat all our food this wouldn't happen. I know that is why he threw up. I saw the green beans you made him eat. Remember he didn't want to, but you made him eat them and now look, he threw them up!"

But, I had tunnel vision and half ignored my darling son as he scolded me. We checked out, got in the van, and headed home. It wasn't until I got behind the wheel that I looked down at my shirt and noticed that somehow in the midst of all the craziness two extra buttons had unbuttoned themselves. . . Oh, me. Oh, well.

As I drove home, in between asking JCT every 35.5 seconds if he felt okay, I thought about how suddenly my plan for the day had been turned upside down with the most disheartening part being that I would not get to eat dinner alone with my husband.


And, so my perfectly planned day landed in a puddle, splat, on the floor of Super Wal-Mart.

Why, I ask, why do I even try to make plans?