Autumn Morning

And, even when the trees

have just surrendered

to the harvest-time. . .

Forfeiting their leaves in late September

and sending us inside. . .

Still, I notice You when change begins. . .

And, I am braced for cooler winds. . .

I will offer thanks for what has been

and whats to come. . .

You are Autumn. . .

-Nichole Nordeman

My Little Chef

Sunday did not end after Elijah's baby dedication service. The attention shifted from my sweet baby to my darling big boy, Joshua. Sunday night was the children's choirs annual Operation Christmas Child Musical. And, Joshua had the starring role of a shepherd - or as John Charles calls them - chefs. He told his mom that the boys were chefs and the girls were angels. . .

Anyhoo, I thought it very brave of the choir director to let the youngest class of choir members do the manger scene. And, a scene it was. . .

Asa, also a shepherd, made a bazillion different crazy faces and played with the manger straw. That was okay, but then be began hitting "baby Jesus." This upset Macey (who played Mary), so she yelled, "Leave my baby alone!!!" at Asa. And, thus you have the 4&5 year-olds reenacting the nativity alone on stage. Joshua just hid behind the other shepherds and giggled. He never partakes in the antics of his friends (or his brother), but he sure is entertained by them!!

Baby Dedication Sunday

This is what the day should have been about. . .

My Sweet, sweet 'Lijah. . .

But, he had some competition.

And, this is a more accurate picture of what the day was about. . .

Yesterday was Elijah's baby dedication. And, to make a very long story short, it was a crazy day, insanely. JCT woke up at 5:00 a.m. And, there was no returning to sleep. . . Erik is training for a half-marathon, and he had to do a 9 mile run before church. This meant the bulk of the getting everyone ready, etc. was on me. Let's just say that I got everyone else ready and out the door on time, but Elijah and I were the ones running late. Church starts at 11:00. I pulled into the church parking lot at 11:01, and Elijah was not yet fully dressed. I met Erik and the big boys in the foyer with a few minutes to spare - before we had to walk down the aisle.

Baby dedication always makes me a little nervous. But, this time I was really nervous. Joshua has always been dependable and for the most part predictable - even when he was 2 years old and we dedicated JCT. But, JCT is for the most part neither dependable or predictable, thus my stomach was in knots. I made Erik hold JCT, I held sweet 'Lijah, and Joshua walked alongside us.

JCT wanted to smell the altar flowers, he wanted to touch them, he reached for them, he wanted down, he sat on the step, he found the electrical outlet on stage, and he attempted to electrocute himself during the dedication prayer.

Needless to say, it was an uneventful dedication. We all, with the exception of JCT, smiled and acted like this was all wonderful and good. Only those of us closest to Erik could see the beads of sweat on his brow. I think we put up a good front, at least that is what I am telling myself. . .

Here he is in all his toddler glory. . . The will is surging. I am accepting prayers from all willing to offer them. . .

These pictures were taken by Deana B, our official family photographer. We attempted to take one of our entire family, you know, to remember the special day and all. Let's just say the big boys didn't really want to cooperate. . .

Craziness. I guess this picture is an appropriate representation of the special day.

Me and my baby. . .

Sometimes I sit on the front porch and hold Elijah in my arms. We stare at each other and laugh and play - sweet and quiet. Then, I look up and see the two crazy boys running wild in the front yard. First, I think to myself, "Look 'Lijah. They are so wild and crazy, but not us. We are calm, quiet, and sweet." But, then, quickly, I remind myself that it won't be too long before he leaves the peace of my arms and joins his older brothers in the craziness that is being of the little boy breed.

Oh, sad day.

No, I don't mean that. I will just make a glass of lemonade, sit back, smile, and watch them chase and tackle. And, I will tip my lemonade glass to them and toast the joys of raising little men.

Bad mood, Good Day - Part 2

I think it was around 4:00 pm yesterday that I posted the post previous to this one. After I finished the post, JCT woke up and I took all 3 boys outside to play. Do you remember that I said something like this. . . "and the day isn't even over yet. . ."

Well, it wasn't.

I bundled the boys up and took them down to the swing set. As I was settling this cute, cozy little one into the baby swing, I heard my oldest son squeal with delight.

And, if you have sons, then you know that squealing with delight is often a bad sign. I looked up to see Joshua smiling and laughing at the bottom of the slide. He looked at me and in between hysterical laughter he let me in on the "fun." It seems JCT thought that it would be a good idea to stand at the top of the slide and tinkle down the slide. I walked over to the slide. There stood JCT smiling proudly at the top of the slide and a stream of urine making its way down the slide. I didn't think it was funny. Call me a prude, but I was quite disgusted by the whole thing. And, since the swing set is too far from the house to hose the slide down, I announced that the slide was not to be used until we have a good hard rain.

Boys.

The day before JCT went tee tee in the garage. I was unloading the van, and when I came back out to get another armful of bags, I saw him. He was standing beside the car, pants at his ankles, and a little puddle in front of his feet.

So, in a twenty-four hour period the child has gone tee tee in my car, down the slide, and in the garage. What next, I ask you?

Bad mood, Good day

I've been in a bad mood today.

Elijah woke me up at 5 a.m. crying to be fed, and it wasn't long after I settled him back in bed that I heard JCT crying upstairs. This time change has literally changed my life. Now my boys are waking up in the 5 o'clock hour and not the 6 o'clock hour. Ugh.

So, reluctantly I climbed the steps and opened the boys bedroom door. I was greeted by two smiling, happy boys. Their energy and enthusiasm soared. I vaguely remember statements like. . .

"Mommy, can we draw?"

"I want my milk!"

"I want to wear my pirate shirt today."

"Do I have to go to school today?"

"Can we go outside?"

And, so the day began. By 6 a.m. I announced to my husband that today was going to be a "bad day." And, when I decide that, it is pretty much set in stone at that point. You know, since I am Mama and all, and I set the tone for the home.

A few hours later Deana called to tell me that she has shingles. Enough said.

After that, I ran errands and went to pick up Joshua at school. Elijah cried so hard in the pick-up line outside Joshua's preschool that I took him out of his car seat and nursed him. While I was nursing him, JCT announced from the backseat that he needed to "tee tee." I climbed into the back of the van, holding Elijah, and helped JCT out of his car seat. Then, looking around for options, I decided the best thing to do was to put a diaper between his legs and let him tee tee in it. This went horribly wrong, and he ended getting tee tee on his shirt, his underwear, his pants, his shoes, and the floor of the van. Why, I ask, why?

Then, after Joshua got in the car and we drove home, Elijah began crying again. Did I say crying? I mean screaming. The kind of crying that unravels every nerve in your body and makes your hair stand on end. Shortly after we got home, I noticed that Elijah's right eye was pink. It appears he burst a blood vessel. I guess that is what happens when you scream unrelentingly for extended periods of time.

During the little boys' nap time, Joshua attempted to eat Lick'n stix for the first time. Needless to say, my table and floors were covered in green sugar. And, his teeth, tongue, and lips turned a lovely shade of green, as well.

It has been a day, and the scary thing is that it isn't over yet.

Life is never boring. It is constantly busy, always interesting.

So, I am reminding myself today that life is good. Really, it is.

Now, I am sipping coffee and listening to "What Can I Do" by Paul Baloche. Perspective. It is all about perspective.

Dear Lord, give me the right perspective, Your perspective. Oh, and a good sense of humor, too, Lord.

I'm Not Sure It Was Salvation, But It Sure Was Cute!

A few nights ago I was reading to the big boys from the Jesus Storybook Bible. The story for that particular night was about when the Holy Spirit came like tongues of fire on the disciples in Jerusalem. The Jesus Storybook Bible tells the story like this. . .

"Suddenly, a stong wind filled the little room, whistling through the walls, rustling the straw on the floor. And there - on everyone's heads, shining in the gloom - were flickering flames. Fire that didn't hurt or burn.

And, something more: inside, in their hearts, they felt a strange heat, almost as if all the coldness and hardness were melting away. As if their broken hearts were mending. And God was giving them brand new hearts - hearts that could work properly.

How it happened they didn't know, but they knew God's power had struck their heart's ablaze - and Jesus Himself was coming to live inside of them."

Joshua perked up at that last sentence and said, "Jesus, lives inside of my heart!"

"Does He, Baby? Have you asked Him to come and live inside of you and be your Lord?"

Joshua looked up and in the sweetest little voice he said, "Jesus, will you come and live inside of me?"

We talked for a few minutes about sin and forgiveness and living our lives for the Lord - not for ourselves. I ended by saying, "If you ask Jesus to live inside of you and you really, really mean it then, He will do it."

Joshua, once again looking up, talking to God, said, "I really mean it!"

And, his mama's heart smiled.

May His desire always be for You, Lord.
And, may Your hand be always upon him.

Happy 6 months, little darling!

Wow, half a year already! You are growing like a cute little weed - 27.5 inches and 18 pounds and 2 ounces! You are a joy, my little one.

You are almost crawling and almost sitting up by yourself - but not quite! You can prop yourself up on two hands like a cat. When you do it, you look up at me and smile with pride - and then you fall forward. It is really quite amusing! Thanks for always giving me something to smile about!

Bless your sweet heart, you have to be flexible. With your brothers' schedules, your naptimes are never consistent. But, you are a trooper! You hang on tight to my hair, and as long as you are in my arms, you are usually quite content. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you for that!

One of my favorite things to do with you right now is to lay you in front of me and let you touch my face. You love to feel my nose and eyes and ears. You want to suck on my hair, but I don't let you for fear a stray strand may gag you. You still love to suck on your fingers and toes! What a little bundle of joy you are!

We have begun the great process of solid food feedings. At this point, you spit most of the feeding back out, but we will keep at it until you are eating like a pro!

I am learning you, my little Elijah. Day by day that wonderful little personality of yours emerges more and more! I love you!

Whiskers. . .

And, I'm not talking about the ones that grow naturally from the chin of a man. . .

I am talking about the ones on the chin of my two year old son.

It was a day like any other day, except for the fact that it was the anniversary of the day my mother gave birth to her youngest daughter, and that would be me.

Remember those lovely benches that I bought for our kitchen table? Love them. But, when your children tend to act like monkeys, they are an accident waiting to happen.

Monkey child + backless bench + concrete floors = a trip to Daddy's office and 3 stitches

JCT and Joshua were playing at the kitchen table, and I was completely engrossed in a conversation with my mom who was in town for a visit when it happened. We heard a boom, looked up, and saw JCT laying face down on the floor. I picked him up, and he cried a bit. I looked in his mouth, no blood. I held him for a few minutes trying to calm him down. Then, I noticed that there was blood on his sweater. So, I looked under his chin and found an open wound.

Long story short. . . We were at Erik's office a few minutes later. Halfway to his office, I realized that I had forgotten to grab the camera. So, with JCT bleeding in the backseat, I turned the car around and went back home to get my beloved camera. Finally, we got to Erik's office. He took one look at JCT's chin and said he needed stitches. Kim, Erik's nurse, gave me gauze pads soaked in Lidocaine to hold under his chin until Erik finished seeing his morning patients.

And, so you ask. . . Was the doctor's son a good patient?

That would be a. . .

N.O.

Bless his little heart he was scared and mad, and he kicked and screamed and cried. How in the world Erik stitched him up is beyond me. The child refused to hold still even with a crew of people trying to hold him down and talk to him. Erik was amazing to watch, his hand was steady, he appeared perfectly calm. Other than the fact that sweat was dripping, pouring actually, off his forehead, I would have thought the whole thing a walk in the park for him. He just stuck that fatty tissue back inside JCT's chin and sewed my sweet baby up!

Needless to say, JCT was asleep before we got out of the parking lot. He completely wore himself out fighting off Erik, Kim, Sean (Erik's partner), Julie (works at the front desk), Lisa (works in the lab), and me. But, I must say, he looked pretty cute in the rearview mirror -asleep with his little bandaged chin.

And, after JCT woke up from his nap, Joshua admired his bandage saying it looked like a pirate's beard. Aren't big brothers wonderful!

I'm not sure what was more upsetting to me - the fact that my two year old had to be held down by 6 people and given stitches or the fact that I don't have a single picture of the incident.

Why, you ask, do I not have a single picture since I turned the car around to get my camera? Because, I tell you, a digital camera is a wonderful thing, but it will not work without a CF card - you know, present inside the camera. I took wonderful pictures of Erik leaning over JCT's gaping wound, and of JCT sleeping soundly in his carseat after the exhausting endeavor. But, they are recorded only in my memory. And, yes, my camera does alert the user to the fact that the CF card is missing. "No CF" blinks on the screen if I remember correctly. Unfortunately, I was a bit preoccupied, therefore I didn't notice until it was like 5 hours too late.

This picture was taken later that night after I realized that I had neglected to notice the missing CF card. Just call him "Captain Bandage Beard."

Oh, and just in case you are wondering, that is pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth, not blood. Mr. Cute pouty lips!

This is the T-shirt that he wore while getting stitches. I still haven't washed it.

I'm sure this is the first of many trips we will take to Daddy's office, and I don't mean to visit Daddy. I mean trips to Daddy's office for stitches, x-rays, etc. I've got a hunch that most of these trips will involve JCT. . .

His rest time

It has been rainy for two days straight, and, therefore, I am loving life. The leaves are turning, and soon they will begin to fall. And, as I passed a local church's digital sign this morning, it announced that the temperature outside was 48 degrees! And, that made me smile. There is a certain peace that comes with this time of year. It makes me want to slow down and stay at home.

Today, after lunch I settled the two youngest fellows in for their afternoon nap, and then Joshua and I put on our raincoats and walked Rain outside to do his "job." We came inside, and I took off our coats, put on a pot of coffee, and lit a candle. Then, I straightened up a little bit while Joshua chose the pages that he wanted to color during his rest time. Joshua spends about 45 minutes to an hour in my room each afternoon. It is his rest time, his alone time, his down time. And, I think he likes it.

We do this everyday, but today it struck me that maybe he looks forward to this time as much as I do. I always open the blinds, put his favorite CD in the CD player, and turn on the lamp that sits beside my bed. For the first time, I realized that this is all quite cozy and peaceful, and if I were a four year old this just might be my favorite time of the day.

My Confession

So, I saw the candy sitting on the counter in a little pile. And, I really like candy. And, I knew that it was Joshua's. But, he brought it home from church yesterday. And, it had been at least 26 hours since he got it. And, it was still sitting there. Surely he had forgotten it. And, I really needed the pick-me-up a little sugar can give. And, did I mention that I really like candy? So, I stealthily unwrapped it and ate one piece. . . and then another. . . all gone. Mmmm. . .

A few hours later he asked for it.

I attempted distracting him.

I told him he couldn't have sweets until after dinner hoping that he'd forget.

He didn't.

Joshua: Mommy, can I please have my candy from church?

Me: Baby, I have to tell you something.

I took his face in my hands and made him look me in the eyes.

Me: I ate it.

He looked at me confused as if it didn't quite compute.

Joshua: You ate my candy?

Me: Yes. I ate it.

Joshua throws his head back and cries out the cry of an injured animal.

Then, after a minute he straightens up looks me in the eyes and says: Your kidding right?

Me: No, baby, I'm not kidding. Mommy ate your candy.

Joshua: All of it?

Me: Yes, all of it. I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?

Joshua looked at me with eyes full of hurt. It was, after all, his first betrayal of this kind: Yes, I forgive you. But, don't do it again. Next time we go to church you remember and don't do it again.

I assured him that I wouldn't.

I just pray that I am strong enough to keep my word.

Because I really like candy.

Alot.

My Birthday Week

This is my birthday week! (In our family you get a whole week to celebrate your birthday. It is a beautiful thing, really.) Erik got me a Momagenda!! I have been looking at the momagenda website for about 6 months now - almost daily and with great longing!! He gave me my biggest present first, so that I could use it to plan my week!!

Let me say that the website doesn't do this calendar justice. It is much bigger and better than I expected. It even includes pages in the back for planning parties and vacations, blank pages for notes, lists of fun websites, etc. I use the top half of the week-at-a-glance pages to see what my day looks like. I don't put my list of things to accomplish here. I simply put appointments, so that I can see a skeleton of our day and our week. Then, I use the bottom half of the pages, not for my children's various activities as they suggest, but rather I use it to list calls to be made, errands to run, and my at home to-do list. In the front of the calendar, there is a month-at-a-glance section that I am using to plan our meals in pencil.

I love my new calendar - can you tell? I feel so spoiled. I have so much more space to make my daily to-do lists on. And, I can now make my lists vertically instead of in a small rectangle like I used to! I sat in the pick-up line at Joshua's preschool today and marveled over all the fun details of this new little love of mine!


And, tucked in one of the side pockets of my little happy is the sweet note that accompanied my gift. It says, "Erin, I love you! You keep our home well organized and going strong. You are our magic." This note is super special to me for one reason - Erik used the word "magic." Magic is the nickname Erik gave me when we were dating. He doesn't call me Magic very often anymore. Every once in a while though, he slips it in to remind me that "the magic" of "us" is still very much present - even though in the everyday-ness of life, it may not always feel that way. I love my husband. There isn't another human that moves me like he does. I still get that 8th grade in love feeling every now and then. And, honestly, every now and then is all that I have time for these days. . .



Speaking of not having time for things. . . I need to go and hang out with my oldest little man. Today is rainy and delicious! It is the perfect day for curling up with a cup of coffee, a good book, and a sweet four year old.

And, lest you think my life is a blissful birthday celebration void of all things negative, I will let you in on a secret. Only it isn't really a secret. . . You can hear us coughing a mile away. We are all sick. From the tallest (Daddy) to the very smallest (my 'Lijah), we are all fighting a cold. Thanfully, I think we are winning the battle and feeling a little better each day. . .



Two pics to end this post. I like to call these pictures. . .

"Tough Love for my Tough Little Cookie!"

He May Never Find His Way Back Home. . .

Now that Joshua is in pre-K two days a week, JCT and I have some one on one time. And, it is a wonderful thing really.


The kid cracks me up.


I mean, really, the things that he comes up with amaze me!


While Elijah takes his morning nap, I take JCT and the monitor down to the swingset. And, we have what I like to call "swingset conversations." I had many precious "swingset conversations" with JCT's big brother. And, now it is JCT's turn. He gets in his favorite swing, and I push him for 30 minutes or so, and we talk. We talk about whatever JCT wants to talk about. Sometimes he wants us to sing together. Sometimes he wants me to tell him a story about him and Joshua. Sometimes he wants to tell me a story. I love it. The conversation is full, free, easy, and often quite entertaining, as well.


Yesterday morning there was a soft cool breeze. The sky was clear, and the sun was shining. As I was pushing JCT and he was assigning numbers to everyone in the family, I started to wonder what would happen if he got lost. Did he know what to tell people? We have told him our address, but I felt sure he didn't remember it. Would he remember my name or Erik's? So, I asked him. . .


Me: JCT, what is Mommy's name?

JCT: Mommy.

Me: Do you know Daddy's name?

JCT: Daddy. And, Grandma's name is Grandma.


It wasn't looking very good, but I thought I'd try one more time. . .


Me: JCT, where do you live? Can you tell me where you live?


JCT: Yes, I live in the jungle with my Grandma and Pop.


Oh, good. I feel better now. I'm just praying that he doesn't ever get lost because I fear we may never see the poor child again.

New Benches & a Fall Bouquet from Our Walk Today

Neither here nor there

A quiet peace has fallen over our home at present. All children are either napping or resting in their beds. A candle is lit in the kitchen. Dinner is cooking slowly in the oven. I am sitting, coffee in hand, deciding which list I want to make first - always the list-maker. As I told my Deana B the other day, I rarely ever go by my lists. I usually make them with great fervor and then set them aside. But, something about just making the list, putting my thoughts into writing, organizing the ideas that crowd my brain makes me feel better. Silly, I know, silly, but true.

I was musing this morning over several things. One such thing is the fact that Rain is sure to have gained a bit of weight over the past month. I have turned the job of feeding Rain over to JCT who thinks this new responsibility a great honor. He so loves to feed his dog that he rarely feeds him just the one cup full that I ask of him. No, he goes above and beyond the call of duty. He tells me, "No, Mama, Rain needs a little more than that. He's 'ungry." And, with that he digs the scooping cup into the food bag one more time. And, if you look closely, ever so closely, you can see Rain's mouth turned up just slightly in a grin as he watches his little 2 year old advocate scoop extra dog goodness into his bowl.

I have a sweet friend who, when I complained about not having a favorite CD to listen to right now, made me 3 CDs. Yes, she did. She titled them "For Erin vol.1, 2, and 3." And, she didn't stop there. No, ma'am, she typed up pages of commentary on each individual song - why each song is special to her. So, now I have 3 new, and very good I might add, CDs to listen to. Thanks Sara!



Oh, and for any of you out there who follow Sarah's In the Midst of It. I want to say something to you, something that I learned long ago. I know Sarah well. We went to college together. Now a lot has changed in Sarah's life since college. In college she had to get 8 hours of sleep every single night. I would pass by her room at 3 a.m. still very much awake and deep into my studies, and she would be already 5 hours into her sleep. And, while the rest of us crammed large quantities of information into our brains during finals, Sarah would be sitting on her bed cross-stitching. She began preparing for finals at the beginning of the semester, so they were really no big deal to her. She would simply sit back and relax listening to Christmas music with a cinnamon candle lit for atmosphere. My Sarah was always well-prepared and rarely procrastinated. Somehow, she maintained many friendships, a serious boyfriend who is now her husband, an active craft life, and a 4.0. She was always reading books for her classes, as well as, books for her own enjoyment. Just like it baffles my mind now that she is able to knit 6 baby hats, 4 sweaters, cross-stitch, home school, read 5 books at once, and maintain a well-organized household, it baffled my mind back then how she wore 12 hats and wore them all well. I have come to believe that she is some sort of time-management genius. So, if you read her posts and wonder how she does it all, know that you are not alone. I have been wondering the same thing for years. She amazed me back then, and she amazes me now. Some things never change - but, her bedtime, now that is one thing that has changed. . .



Now I am off to make one of those ever important lists!

This Week. . .

I just dropped my three little men off at church. Tonight is Parent's Night Out. I will be spending this parent's night out as a single parent because my Erik is at a high school football game.

This week has been typical for me - extreme highs and lows. I am learning that the way our day goes has a lot more to do with my attitude than it does my boys' attitudes. But, that is just one of the many lessons that God is teaching me through my little ones.

My heart is full, as per usual. This week has ushered in change in a variety of ways and mostly to do with my darling JCT. He has worn underwear all week except for a few outings - which I dared not attempt. . . yet. He did have one accident while playing upstairs. I heard him tell Joshua what he did. JCT confessed to Joshua that he was "scared Mommy will be mad at me." But, Joshua reassured him, "Mommy won't be mad. Don't you worry, JCT. Once I colored on the table, and I thought Daddy would be mad at me. But, he wasn't. Daddy said green was his favorite color. He wasn't mad, and Mommy won't be mad either. It was just an accident. Don't worry, just go tell her." And, God spoke to my heart at that very moment, and I learned something. Too often I use fear tactics to teach my children. But, the lessons that they will remember, the lessons that will give them the clearest picture of Christ are the lessons taught by showing grace. Now, back to the original topic, he is in underwear tonight at church, and I feel certain he will do just fine. He is growing up right before my eyes. Unbelievable.

I pulled the trundle out from under Joshua's bed Tuesday afternoon. And, I asked JCT if he wanted to take his nap on his big boy bed or in his crib. He opted for the big boy bed. I turned the video monitor on and went downstairs. Joshua and I had fun watching JCT play with his feet and listening to him sing song after song. And, eventually he drifted off to sweet sleep. That night I gave him the same choice, and he chose his crib. Wednesday, once again, he napped in the big boy bed and slept the night in his crib. Then, last night he insisted on sleeping in his big boy bed, so I let him. Joshua was tickled. And, I thought they might never go to sleep. They talked and laughed and sang. All the while, Erik and I stood downstairs around the monitor smiling and loving every minute of it. We took the dog out and walked a minute, and when we came back in, they were both sound asleep. It felt good, really good.

Earlier that night I watched as my husband corralled both big boys into the tub with laughs and squeals filling the air. Then, as they played in the bath, good old Rain sauntered upstairs and gave the clean boys a few licks sending them into hysteria. And, I couldn't help, but feel utterly blessed. A great husband, a good dog, 3 wonderful children, and a warm home full of love and laughter. . .

I have been staring at my backyard a lot lately. It is so pretty this time of year. A family of turkey have been eating breakfast on our levee each morning. I love to sit and watch them eat their fill. Occasionally another animal will startle one of them, and the startled turkey will take flight, a short flight - but still very fun to watch. And, yesterday when I took Rain out to walk for a minute during nap time, I heard a wonderful sound. The breeze blew some fallen leaves on Mr. Cole's driveway. I stopped walking and watched the leaves dance a minute and listened to their soft rustle. I simply cannot wait until the street is full of leaves. I love to watch them take flight when cars pass, and I love to hear them crackle under my shoes.

I have fallen back in love with an old CD - Chris Rice - Peace Like a River. It is a great fall CD. Anyway, as I was listening to it earlier this week, Joshua asked an interesting question.

"Is this Jesus singing, Mommy?"

I answered no, and then smiled thinking about how Chris would be honored by Joshua's question. Then, later this week, Joshua asked me again, "Mommy, are you sure this isn't Jesus singing?" I assured him that it was Chris Rice who though he has a wonderful voice was not God incarnate. Then, he said, "But, Mommy, he said, 'God, our father.'" Which brought a wonderful topic to the table. The fact that God is our Father, too, and Jesus our brother.

JCT insists that he saw an angel in the backyard. Every time we read a Bible story about an angel, he brings it up again.

"I saw an angel once," he will tell us. "He was in da backyard, and he sayed to me, 'Be not afraid. God is with me,' and he was a man angel. He talked to me. He tole me he luffs me." Makes me wonder. . . Imagination or supernatural? Who knows, but I love to hear him tell us the story. I like to think that children see angels, makes my heart smile.

Oh, and did I mention that when JCT's choir teacher (one of Erik's patients) asked him, "And, what does your Daddy do?" JCT confidently answered, "He spanks my bottom." Oh, me.

So, that is my week in summary. It has been a good week all in all. But, I'd be telling you a story if I told you it was all watching turkeys and listening to rustling leaves and laughing boys. This week has been a wonderful mix of good, bad, and the not so pretty. But, all is well. And, tomorrow I get to go on a Starbucks date with one of my very best friends in the whole world. And, we have great plans to discuss the ninety-nine balloons blog and the book Grace-based Parenting over a decaf white chocolate mocha (for me) and a Chai latte (for her). Now, that is a great way to start October, my favorite month of the year!

A Full Swingset and a Good Picture of JCT

HE IS SO STINKIN' CUTE THAT I COULD EAT HIM SLAP UP!!

Well, folks, the swinset is officially full!! I have a man at every station, well, almost. . .

As I stood back admiring my sweet boys, all three swinging side by side, the thought occured to me that all three swings were full of little boy goodness! My heart swelled with pride and love. I tilted my head to the side and let out a satisfied sigh. And, then I made this statement to my boys. . .

"Well, boys the swingset is full. All the swings are taken. Isn't that great!"

No one really seemed as overwhelmingly moved by this fact as I did. They all just continued to swing. Then, JCT motioned over to the little red disc thingy that hangs from a long yellow rope on the very end of the swingset and said. . .

"Nope. Not full yet. We gotta wait for MOSES. He can swing on da rope."

"Moses?" I asked. "Who is Moses?"

"He's really little right now, but when he gets bigger he can swing on da rope!"

Just checking, I asked, "So, who is Moses' mama?"

"YOU!" JCT answered.

That is what I was afraid of.

Which made me wonder if it has occured to JCT that he is our only son not named after an Old Testament hero. Whenever it does occur to him, I will remind him that James is his Daddy's favorite book of the Bible. And, hopefully, that, along with the fact that he was named after his grandfathers, will satisfy him.

OH, ME, I LOVE MY BOYS!!!!

Happy Five Months, Darling!

Wow! You are getting so big sweet man - almost crawling. You are getting up on all fours and rocking, even propelling yourself forward at times. Sometimes you watch your big brothers playing a few feet in front of you, and you try so hard to make your way over to them. You are a hard worker - no doubt. You do not easily give up!!

Your brothers love on you so much that it is almost funny! They want to kiss you and hold you constantly. Sometimes I think the newness of you will never wear off! You are their favorite toy! When I take JCT up for his nap, I leave you on a blanket in the middle of the living room floor with Joshua to watch over you. When I come down the steps after putting JCT to sleep, I hear the sweet sound of your laughter mixed with your big brother's. Once they figure out what silly thing that they can do to make you laugh, they do it over and over and over. We all love to hear your sweet laughter.

Last Friday we took you to the zoo for the very first time. This picture of you was taken while we were there. The sun and all the activity wore you out!! I could have put you in the stroller to let you sleep, but I'll let you in on a little secret - I'd rather hold you!! There is just something so sweet about holding you while you sleep.

I love you, my sweet 'Lijah, I love you.

When the weak are served. . .

Christ is present

when the Weak

are

loved and served. . .

- Matt Mooney

I came across this quote on the 99 Balloons blog last night. And, I have not been able to get it out of my head. I wrote it on the chalk board in our kitchen.

It is a simple little sentence, but it holds immense amounts of truth. The world says bow to the king. Serve those with authority over you. But, Christ says serve the poor, the needy, the weak. The Mooneys and the Farleys are great examples of this truth lived out in the flesh. But, there are endless examples, endless opportunities for us to be Christ to the world around us. There are endless opportunities for us to serve rather than be served.

Father, give me eyes to see, and strength to reach beyond my comfort zone seizing the opportunity to serve the weak at home and in the world.

Sacred.

Joshua has been in desperate need of new Crocs for quite some time now. I am not a big fan of Crocs, so Erik and I bought him a pair of Merrells. But, unfortunately, they weren't to his liking. He still wanted to wear his old Crocs. So, last week I broke down and bought him a new pair of Crocs.

I had trouble finding them. I finally found a pair at a locally owned department store. A nice lady helped us find the Crocs we needed and then proceeded to checked us out. Joshua wanted to wear his new Crocs out, so the nice lady cut the tags off and helped him into his new shoes. She picked up his old Crocs and carelessly said, "Would you like me to throw these away for you?"

Umm. Excuse me. Did I hear her correctly? "Throw these away?"

Umm. No. Or, at least not right here, right now.

I wanted to tell her that these were Joshua's first pair of Crocs. They have traveled many miles on his feet. He has worn the soles slick with play. They are torn and tattered. Memories flood my heart when I look at them. Take for instance, the missing back strap on the left Croc. . . His Aunt's dog ate that strap while Joshua, completely unaware, swam in her pool.

Beloved shoes.

Joshua has worn them nearly every day for the past year and a half. They have been on many adventures, won several front-yard races, and pushed the gas on Joshua's beloved John Deere Gator. They have trod the mountains of Tennessee, too many zoos to count, and Orlando's Magic Kingdom. He met his little brother, Elijah, for the first time in those Crocs.

Joshua loves his old Crocs, and I do to. I will throw them away, but not right away. I'm just not ready to let go, just yet. . . They deserve a special going away party or burial ceremony of sorts. These aren't your ordinary pair of shoes. These are Joshua's Crocs, his favorite shoes.

I wanted to tell her all that, but I held my tongue.

And, I simply said, "No, thank you. They are sacred."

A Love Note from the Almighty

Never will I leave you,

Never will I forsake you,

Never.

Be strong and courageous,

Do not be terrified,

or discouraged,

For I am with you

wherever you go.

Nothing, absolutely Nothing

can separate you from My love.

I love you with an everlasting love.

I,

I, who formed you from the dust,

Yes, I love you.

You,

You are My precious lamb,

My lamb that I love to carry close to My heart.

When you are afraid trust in Me,

Lift up your soul to Me,

Hide yourself in the shadow of My wings.

And, I will be the Lifter of your head,

I will make you bold and stouthearted,

I will be your confidence,

Your guide,

Your shelter from the storm,

Your shade from the heat.

You can rest.

You can rest, My child.

For My yoke is easy,

And My burden is light.

You need only be still,

For, I,

The Lord, Your God,

The Almighty,

The King of Kings,

I,

I will fight for you,

Because I love you.

Though a mother may forget the child at her breast,

And, have no compassion on the child she has borne,

I will not forget you.

I have engraved you on the palms of My hands.

You are Mine.

You belong to Me.

And, no one can snatch you from My hand.

So, rest, My child.

I take great delight in you.

I quiet you with My love

And, I rejoice over you with singing.

So, lay down and sleep in peace, My child.

For, I,

I alone make you dwell in safety.

I,

Your Father,

Your God,

Your Maker,

I

Love

you.

I Dropped my heart off and drove away. . .

"Being a mother

means that your heart

is no longer yours;

it wanders wherever

your children do. . ."

- Unknown

It all started last Tuesday. I sat in line surrounded by cars and mothers waiting somewhat impatiently for the preschool to open wide her doors and release to us our beloveds. I had a second, so I grabbed my phone and texted a good friend. The text read something like this:

"Hope U R having fun! I am waiting for Joshua. He is really enjoying pre-K."

They were my famous last words.

As Erik would say, I put "the mouth" on him.

He got in the van quiet and introspective. I asked some questions. After a few minutes, he released only this small sentence to me before he retreated and hid behind his backpack for the duration of the car ride home: "I was missing you today."

He said nothing else all day. And, I didn't ask. You see, Joshua does something that I cherish. He stores his hurts in his sweet heart all day, and then as I tuck him in at night, he ever so gently opens his heart to me. As I tucked him in that night, he began talking. He opened his heart and layed it on the covers for us to examine together. I won't share all the details, but one sentence sums up the entire conversation. . .

He looked at me with gentle, questioning eyes, and in his sweetest voice, he asked me. . .

"Mommy, when you were in preschool, did sometimes nobody want to play with you, too?"

To say my heart broke, would be an understatement. I love this little one. My heart hurt.

I wrestled with this all night. Joshua knows no one in his class, and he is quiet until you get to know him. I know that once he feels comfortable he will blossom, but until then. . .

Until then, I will pray. I will pray for a buddy. I will pray for him to be strong and courageous. As I dressed him this morning, we said Joshua's favorite verse - Joshua 1:9. I asked him why he thought that God said these words to Joshua in the Bible. I told him that it sounded to me like Joshua may have been a bit afraid, and God spoke to him words of encouragement. Encouraging him to be strong and courageous, not terrified or discouraged, because God would be with him wherever he goes. A wonderful verse for a little boy.

Joshua only goes to preschool on Mondays and Tuesdays, so today was his first day back since his "sad" day. JCT, Elijah, and I walked him to class, helped him put his backpack in his little locker, and then said goodbye and walked away. We got in the car. And, as I drove away, I looked at that little church preschool building and thought about how it now housed my heart for a few hours. And, one day I will have 3 of my hearts walking around. I am learning, slowly but still learning, how to let go even when it hurts. How to allow them the opportunity to fight their own battles instead of sheltering them. These are the things that will make him stronger. God uses every minute detail. I trust that. And, my strength imparted to Joshua now mostly is in the form of prayer.

It is a process, this mommy deal, and I think it gets more and more challenging as it goes along. But, it is a good deal.

And, speaking of good deals, I got this email from my Daddy after my mom informed him of Joshua's hard day. The last line of his email brought a tear or two to my eyes. You see, my Daddy used to trade futures on the Commodity Market. And, he was good at what he did, very good. He was highly respected for his keen sense of the market - the ups and downs. He knew when and what to buy and sell. My Daddy is wise, but he doesn't vomit his wisdom on you. He holds tightly to his words. They are few and precious. Wisdom. I am thankful to have a Godly father. And, now his sweet words. . .

Erin,

I can empathize with Joshua in his experience at preschool. It's a little disconcerting at first how to relate to new kids, school, teachers, new surroundings, etc. It's a lot for a little guy to adjust to at first. But he's a very smart little boy, and he will quickly figure out how to get in the group, make friends, and just plain adjust.
I'm 66 now, but if my memory is correct, those early years, when you are learning your social skills, were more difficult than when you get to high school and college. Pray, but don't worry. I know how to read a good deal, and I would buy stock in Joshua because he will do just fine.

Love you guys,
Dad

Pray, but don't worry. Now that is good advice for a mother. Because I am learning that prayer is the key to parenting. Just as I used to sit at the bottom of the steps listening to my Joshua cry himself to sleep, praying constantly, asking God how long is too long, I must still rely on God to guide me today. And, God has always been faithful to lead me. Parenting books are great, but there is no substitute for listening to the Spirit, letting His sweet Spirit guide me.

I love that being a mother is above and beyond my comfort zone. It is more than my soft heart can bear. So, it keeps me ever at His feet. And, there is no place that I would rather be.

Autumn

I walked outside a few minutes ago to throw something in the trash. I opened the door and a soft cool breeze hit me in the face. And, the fragrance of fresh cut grass overwhelmed me. A beautiful green yard, freshly mown and a cool breeze. . .

It is the beginning of autumn and that does something to me deep in my soul.

Seriously.

There is something miraculous to me about the change of seasons. God does it every year - 4 times a year, but it never loses its magic for me. And, I love that.

A few weeks ago the temperature was over 100 degrees, and now it must be in the low eighties or high seventies. This morning was cool and crisp with dew covering every blade of grass. As I kissed my husband goodbye, I marveled at the miracle of God's seasons.

In a few weeks the leaves will turn beautiful colors, and the grass will begin to yellow. And, I will light my Yankee Harvest candle and make a big pot of White Bean Chicken Chili. And, Erik will come home from the high school football games with frozen feet, and he will put his cold hands on the back of my warm neck. And, I will watch as little red-headed boys cover eachother in leaves, tossing them up in the air with great joy. And, I will move the boy's carseat straps to fit them with their jackets on, and I will begin faithfully feeding the birds, deer, and turkey that enjoy passing through our backyard for a mid-morning snack. I will bundle the boys up to play in the morning, and they will step out into a yard of frozen grass. Coats, hats, scarves, and mittens will litter my mudroom, kitchen, and den. Little rain boots will sit beside the door.

And, though it may be chilly outside, my soul will be full of warmth. And, I will sit and sip coffee and thank my sweet Jesus for autumn and all of the blessings that come along with it.

Too Much

How much is "too much"? What exactly does it mean?

It isn't a precise measure.

It is just a phrase we throw around.

But, yesterday "too much" was thrown at me when I least expected it.

Being in the stage of life that I am in and being the weak vessel that I am, there is a lot that seems to be "too much" these days.

Like taking 3 children (4 and under) to the mall or to Wal-Mart. . .

Last night at dinner, too much was holding a fussy baby, rocking him, standing beside the dinner table while my family ate, all the while listening to my two year old complain about his dinner and my four year old ask the same question over and over and over and over again.

But, after dinner something magical happened. I was putting my sons to sleep, tickling their backs and loving on them. I picked JCT up to put him in his crib across the room, and I asked him:

"How much does Mommy love you? How much, baby, do you know?"

And, his response came in his usual way, very matter of fact but with a smile:

"Too Much."

And, I suppose he may be correct.

Sesame Street meets the Tarheels

The boys had so much fun at Afton's second birthday party!! Here are some pics from the special occasion. Sean and Deana had 3 pools set up in their backyard and 1 slip and slide. The dinosaur pool looked so fun that I almost got in!! The kids had a blast!

I was so honored when Sean asked me to make the cake and cupcakes for Afton's party. But, I must admit, I was very nervous about it. I have only made cakes for my own children's parties. I wanted them to be perfect for sweet Afton. She loves Elmo, so I prayed and prayed that no matter what, she would be able to tell that her cake was, in fact, an Elmo cake. If she said "Melmo" when she saw the cake, then I would consider my cake a success. If not, I would be sorely disappointed!! Thankfully, she recognized him!!

I panicked at about 10:30 the night before the party! All the sudden it hit me that all the cupcakes and cakes were full of food-coloring! I'm a little slow, I guess. Anyway, I envisioned one of Afton's beautiful outfits being ruined by heavily dyed icing. Not to mention the fact that we all know what red food coloring is supposed to do to children, and Elmo had to be red or Afton surely wouldn't recognize him. So, I made what I called "child friendly cupcakes." I used just a tad of blue food coloring and made a few more cookie monster cupcakes.

So, what do you think Sean said when he saw the cupcakes?

Duke cookie monsters and North Carolina cookie monsters. Needless to say, he stayed far away from the Tarheel cupcakes while my husband gobbled them up whole - well, sort of. . .

And, guess who stole the show! You guessed it! Somehow they always end up the center of attention!

Deana's sweet Mama made both of them aprons!! She wrapped up the Carolina apron and gave it to Sean as a joke. Sean opened the apron and immediately, with great disgust, threw it at Erik. Then, Mrs. Diane pulled out another bag with a Duke apron made especially for Sean.

A Fun Party

brought to you by the letter A (for Afton)

and by the number 2.

Home Renovation Pics - Part 1 Mudroom and Laundry room

Welcome! I will be completely honest. I have been dreading this, but I want to get it done, so here I go!!! I am going to do this in parts to keep me from going insane, completely.


The before pics are on the left, and the after pics are on the right.


This is the backdoor. The powder bath is to the left and the laundry room is to the right. We had already begun tearing up the floor when I took the before pics, but you get the idea.

This is the powder bath. We basically just took out the cabinets and added a pedestal sink in their place. Oh, and we changed the wall color, but that will be true of every room in our home!!



Okay, the next room is quite possibly one of the most important rooms in our home. I adore laundry. Does that sound crazy? I love it! It is my favorite chore - hands down! So, loving my new laundry room was very important to me.

We got new cabinets, and we enclosed the air conditioning unit thingy.

I love my new long counter top! I sort my clothes as I take them out of the dryer and fold them. I sort them according to family member and then dresser drawer. Then, I pile the laundry in baskets in descending order of the dresser drawers. Does that make sense? Putting laundry away is a breeze now!!

Oh, and the floors are now our concrete slab stained and scored. And, we changed all the hardware, doors, and molding to give the house a little character and to suit our tastes.

I hope to conquer the kitchen, den, and sun room next. We'll see. . .

The Preschool Jitters

And, I am not just talking about Joshua. Mommy has been a bit jittery herself.

Whew! We made it through the first day! My stomach has been in knots all weekend. But, we did it. . . I mean he did it!!

And, he didn't shed one single tear!

And, I think he may have actually enjoyed himself!!

Last night, as I was tucking my little man in, we had an interesting little conversation. . .

J: Mommy, I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Me: Baby, it will be fun! This is something to look forward to, something to be excited about!

J: One day I will go away to school. One day I will leave Frankie (Joshua's name for our home.)

Me: Yes, baby, but that will not be for a long time. We don't need to worry about that yet.

J: But, I don't want to leave Frankie.

Me: It isn't time for you to leave Frankie. When it is time, you will be ready. Don't worry about that now. It will be a long time from now.

J: Mommy, you had another house, and you left that house to live here. And, I will leave this house for my own house one day when I have a wife.

Me: Yes, but that will not be for a long time.

J: And, I will come and visit you like Grandma and Pop come and visit and then they leave and say goodbye. I will visit Frankie like that and then leave and say goodbye. Then, I will go to my house.

Me, not liking this conversation: Yes, but not for a long time.

J - panic setting in: But, mommy, what if I can't find your house? What if I want to come and visit, but I can't find where you live?

Me: You will always know how to get to our house. You will always know how to come home.

J- more panic setting in: But, but how do I get there? Do. . . do I just go straight and then turn. . . or how do I get there?

Me not believing that I am having this conversation: I don't know yet. But, when it is time you will know how to get home. You will always know how to get home, and you can come home whenever you want. Okay?

J: But, I will not drive Vannie (Joshua's name for my car) or Vackie (Joshua's name for Erik's car). I will have my own car.

Me: Yes.

J more panic setting in: But, what will I name my car? I don't know what to name my car.

Me attempting to calm him down: It is okay. You don't have to know what to name your car today. You don't have a car. Don't worry. By the time you are old enough to have a car, you will know exactly what to name your car. Let's just focus on your first day of Preschool tomorrow. I am going to make you blueberry muffins and after school we will go out for Pizza to talk about all the fun things you did. Okay?

J: Okay. But, I need to give you a hug.

Me: Oh, yes, please do give me a hug. (Lord knows I needed a hug after that conversation!)

The whole conversation gave me a little insight into 2 things. #1 Joshua is even more like his mother than we thought. And, #2, this must be how God, Erik, and my mom feel when I come to them in panic mode about things that may or may not take place 20 years from now. It made me realize how silly so many of my fears are. I need only worry about today. After all, today has enough trouble of its own. Now back to the real story. . .

He woke up reluctant to go. But, then an interesting thing happened. JCT figured out what was going on, and he wasn't so sure about it. "I wanna go school, too. Can I go, too, Mommy."

"No, Baby, you aren't quite old enough yet."

"I wanna go school, too."

And with that, something shifted in Joshua's brain. He got to do something JCT wanted to do but could not do, and he liked that. So, without further resistance, Joshua headed out of Vannie's door, kissed his Mommy's lips, grabbed his Daddy's hand, walked into school, and didn't look back.

There was an eerie silence for a few moments when we returned home. But, it didn't take long for JCT's chatter to fill the house. And, do you think he missed his brother?

I'm not so sure.

I think he rather enjoyed having free reign of the toys and Mommy at his beck and call.